I popped out at lunchtime to pick up a sandwich and a few sundry items of which I had run out. Things like razor blades, sugar and toilet roll (it is much more embarrassing asking to borrow a toilet roll than a cup of sugar. Particularly if you are shouting your request out of an open bathroom window to passers by in the street).

Anyway, I had picked up most of what I needed, and had reached the area where the razors are kept, when I noticed a shocking sign. I took a picture of it and put it here, as a warning to others.

For those of you too lazy to click on a link (shame on you) it says, “For your safety and security we always prosecute thieves.”

‘Safety and Security’?! I had never been frightened of shop-lifters before, but I am big enough to admit that I was more than a little apprehensive after reading this. I have not seen any research into shoplifter violence, but some sort of survey must have been undertaken, as supermarkets do not put up signs like this willy-nilly. Mass hysteria costs lives. The last thing we need is a stampede on a Sunday afternoon after seeing an old lady stuffing a tin of cat food into her jacket.

Clearly, this warning means that there have been incidents of people going to steal some bread, and then going on a murderous rampage around the store!

On a similar theme I have read about the supposed link between minor drugs such as Marijuana and Rohypnol (it is minor, you have nothing to fear ladies) and hardcore class-A drugs like heroin and Red Bull, but I did not realise there was such a fine line between the theft of groceries and lashing out violently at random passers-by.

I subsequently watched my fellow shoppers with a new-found intensity looking for the merest hint of a bulging coat and homicidal mania. Previously, if I had seen a shoplifter, I would almost certainly have pointed this out to the supermarket staff, but not now. I am not taking a bullet for anyone.

Though I obviously applaud this effort by Sainsbury’s to ensure the safety of their shoppers, I do have some sympathy for their shareholders. I am sure they are at home counting their dividends wondering why so much time, effort and valuable money is being wasted on warning consumers about violent shop-lifters. I am sure they would much prefer a focus on reducing shoplifting in order to improve the bottom line?

Sainsbury’s should be careful, it is altruistic behaviour like this, and a focus on customer well-being that can lead to a severe drop in your stock market value. Just ask Gerald Ratner.

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