I Am Livid | Where ‘net rage is all the rage…

Jun/07

25

The room

I arrived quite late at the hotel just outside York, and after throwing my bags on the bed, I quickly got changed and went for a run down by the river. This was my way of unwinding.

Except the river had flooded recently, and both routes were waterlogged so I was back at the hotel in fifteen minutes. And not entirely happy about it.

I turned on the light to my room and noticed that the light-switch was quite a lot lower than I am used to. I got stripped and went into the bathroom.

That is when I saw it.

I can best describe it as a white deckchair style contraption, folded, in the shower. Where a bath should be. I consider myself rather astute when it comes to assessing my surroundings so it only took a few minutes to realise I had been put into a room for the disabled.

Why had they put me in here? I will admit that fifteen minutes is not a long time to spend running, but to say it made me the most disabled person in the hotel was surely pushing it?

I was naked, and sweaty, so going to Reception was out of the question. So I decided to make the most of the situation and have a shower. Sitting down. First though, I had to open the ‘fence’ that kept the you out of the shower (or the disabled person in?). It was not easy. In fact I actually considered climbing over it at one point, but figured that putting a fence for disabled people to climb over is not only cruel, but possible illegal. It would be just my luck to slip whilst climbing in and break my leg and have to spend the rest of the summer explaining that I can not walk because I fell whilst climbing into a shower designed for people who can not walk.

They do say that blind people develop excellent hearing to compensate for a lack of sight, well I think it is possible that disabled people develop excellent problem solving skills, as the locking mechanism had me baffled for several minutes.

Eventually I cracked it, and there I sat, in the shower, enjoying a sit down wash. Only standing to wash those bits that you simply can not wash when you are sat down. It is a strange experience, being sat on a chair in the shower. But not an altogether unpleasant one. I will admit it is perhaps not worth losing a limb for, but definitely worth a try at least once in your life.

I would happily try it again, but I do not want to seem like a weirdo by requesting a disabled room at each hotel I visit. I am not a pervert. It is much better to simply befriend a wheelchair-bound person at the bar and ask to use theirs.

Eventually it was time to get out. So I turned off the water and fought again with the able person-proof fence. It was at this point that I realised the bathroom was entirely flooded, with the water now ankle deep across the room and now flowing into the rest of the hotel room.

I called Reception and demanded to be moved.

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18 comments

  • Mr.X · June 25, 2007 at 10:47 am

    And did they?

    Every hotel we’ve stayed in over the last year has had disabled rooms. How many of them were on the ground floor? None. Not one.
    Is it just us, or does that seem a tad stupid…

  • Mark · June 25, 2007 at 10:51 am

    Fortunately you didn’t pull the red chord, cunningly disguised to look like the on/off switch for the light, which would have alerted the hotel staff, security and other do-gooders to the fact that there was an imposter in the room.

    Caught, as a fully-abled (I am advised) person, in a flooded room for the disabled (even with clean “sitty-on” bits) is no-doubt a punishable public offense in New York.

  • TJ · June 25, 2007 at 10:59 am

    Please don’t mention you were naked and sweaty and expect me to digest the rest of your comments. I am battling with my stomach contents and if I lose, I will be updating you on what sun maid raisins look like 2nd time around.

    Anyway, perhaps it wasn’t a disabled room and things looked lower down because you’ve had a growth spurt?

  • BoyOnTop · June 25, 2007 at 11:02 am

    They may just assume anyone not from t’North is disabled.

  • Admin comment by Mr Angry · June 25, 2007 at 11:19 am

    Mr X – Yes, I was moved. I will tell you about room #2 tomorrow.

    Mark – I did notice lots of chords like that, but resisted the urge to pull one.

    TJ – You love it really…

    BoT – socially?

  • Angelalala · June 25, 2007 at 11:22 am

    Did you not find something sexy about all the grab-bars on the walls though?

  • Billyboy & MrsF · June 25, 2007 at 12:49 pm

    York has 365 pubs within the city walls so you should have been legless by the end of the night.

  • Admin comment by Mr Angry · June 25, 2007 at 12:53 pm

    Angelalala – They’re not so useful when you’re on your own.

    Billyboy & Mrs F – Boo! I only went to five of them!

  • Four Dinners · June 25, 2007 at 1:58 pm

    Naked and sweaty and you DIDN’T go down to reception?

    Ashamed of yer. Where’s the fun in that?

  • Admin comment by Mr Angry · June 25, 2007 at 4:08 pm

    FD – You are right, that would have been a much better story. I thought there had been enough nudity already this month. My standards are clearly slipping.

  • afc 30k · June 25, 2007 at 4:50 pm

    Please tell us in part two that you bought some unsuspecting collegue (female?)back to the new room for some uncomplicated ‘on a training course’ sex……

  • Newbie · June 25, 2007 at 5:39 pm

    Made me laugh out loud. Four times. When I was supposed to be working. My boss is not altogether happy with me and I don’t care because that was 100% worth it.

    Genius! Did you claim that the room was like that when you found it?

  • Sam Cullum · June 25, 2007 at 7:57 pm

    A disabled shower – I am appalled. What happend to lift up and downy thing they give the less abled for the bath. They advertise it enough on UK Gold. Bath Knight or something it’s called. The thought of Mr Angry all hot and sweaty has me in quite a tiz – I need another gin. (Still waiting for my prize)!!!

  • lloyd · June 25, 2007 at 8:20 pm

    When you coming back…

  • Admin comment by Mr Angry · June 25, 2007 at 8:41 pm

    afc 30k – it was not that sort of business trip…unfortunately.

    Newbie – Hello, and thanks.

    Sam Cullum – I have not seen that advert, though I’m not sure it’s worth watching UK gold to see it. I have decided on your prize!!!

    Lloyd – Dumbass. I have been back since Friday.

  • todaysdaze · June 26, 2007 at 6:42 am

    You never said when you got in the shower that you shut or locked the door….could that have been the problem???

    How long were you in there for to flood the bathroom ankle height it must have been a while.

    Just curious…did you find yourself in the room below with water coming throught the light fixtures and the ceiling on the bed??

  • Jimmy Page's Trousers · June 26, 2007 at 12:11 pm

    You should have kept the room. I’ve long considered using one of those plastic, garden chairs to enable me to shower while hungover. A refreshing shower combined with a sit down? Heaven.

    Then I’m getting one of those neck-brace things so that I don’t have to hold my own hungover head up.

  • luna · June 30, 2007 at 1:50 am

    It was flooding from the river,not the shower.
    Didn’t you look lout of the window?

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