Catching the last train home one night last week I took my seat in a near empty carriage. I am always happy about this, as it means I can stretch out and enjoy a larger-than-can-generally-be-expected amount of personal space.
It is almost impossible however, to sit in a carriage with about half a dozen people, without glancing to look at them. I often wonder about who I would save first in case of a crash, so I like to rank them before the journey. It saves time during an emergency when every second counts. That is when I noticed him.
Across the carriage, about five rows down, and directly facing me, was a man. I am assuming he was of Arab descent, but in all honesty he could have been from any country that the US wants to invade. And he was looking straight at me.
I mean, RIGHT AT ME.
I do no scare easily, apart from the obvious things things like the dark, loud noises and spiders. But I am not afraid to admit this spooked me. I know that people can drift off from time to time, and look as if they are focusing on something, when in reality they are just having a bit of a daydream. So, to test which he was, I stared back.
Nothing.
I must have looked directly at him for about a gazillion hours, but he did not drop his glare. I looked out the window, around the carriage, and then back at him. And still he looked at me.
I have a friend, who may well indeed be Fat Jim who swears blind that if you put a phone to your ear and pretend to be in conversation you can stare at anyone you like, for as long as you like. This bloke had not even gone to the trouble of undertaking such a weak charade in order to stare at me. The bare cheek of it.
I stared again, this time willing him to look away, and after a few seconds something registered, he seemed to catch my eye properly, as if woken from a trance. He smiled, and looked out of the window.
He does not know how lucky he is, as he was this close (puts fingers very close together) to being asked to take it outside, for a five second scuffle before the doors close again. Or me changing carriage.
I have noticed that it is never attractive women that do this, it is always fat middle aged old men, which are of no interested to me sexually, no matter what those chat rooms say.
No tags
la cubana gringa · June 15, 2007 at 7:53 am
Perhaps you’re hanging out in the wrong chat rooms?
KT · June 15, 2007 at 9:35 am
Ah, I’m embarrassed to admit that I’ve done that before. I was away with the fairies wondering how on earth I was going to get out of a much dreaded party when I became aware of someone glaring at me fiercely. I must have been staring at her for several minutes but I hadn’t realised.
I always direct my eyes out of the window now. It works except when it’s dark and people reflect in the glass coz then your reflection does the staring instead!
todaysdaze · June 15, 2007 at 10:13 am
maybe he was hot for you, and his gay-dar was not working!!!
Billyboy & MrsF · June 15, 2007 at 11:37 am
“I must have looked directly at him for about a gazillion hours…..
“I have noticed that it is never attractive women that do this, it is always fat middle aged old men”
I thought you were a trendy young go getter about Berkshire, but it would seem from said admission that you are in training for a fat jim look a like competition.
Jann · June 15, 2007 at 12:17 pm
Sounds like a modern-day Brief Encounter.
When you were thinking about asking him “to take it outside, for a five second scuffle before the doors close again”, you were actually paraphrasing Trevor Howard when he said “I do love you, so very much. I love you with all my heart and soul”.
There’s always a subtext.
me · June 15, 2007 at 12:22 pm
you ‘rank’ your fellow passengers for potential rescue? that is fucking funny. I only assess strangers for possible fun potential. I think i might change the criteria, just for a laugh.
greavsie · June 15, 2007 at 12:24 pm
“to take it outside, for a five second scuffle before the doors close again”
They say that life imitates art, or in this case life imitates a George Michael song.
Dr_Clip · June 15, 2007 at 12:36 pm
I’m watching you.
BoyOnTop · June 15, 2007 at 1:53 pm
Ahh, probably just asleep with his eyes open. I have a friend who does that, very very freaky…
Chloé · June 15, 2007 at 4:19 pm
Well, but that doesn’t say how he ranked for potential rescue.
Maybe he just wanted to make sure you were number one on his own potential rescue list?
Sam Cullum · June 15, 2007 at 4:27 pm
That’ll learn you for using public transport – have you not realised that it’s only used by nutters!
Julia · June 15, 2007 at 9:08 pm
Only 6 people in a car? That’s nothing. Our subway cars accomodate dozens of pepole and aside from the tired “Learn English Today!” and “Want to Get Rid of that Acne?” ads, there’s no where to put your eyes except on the dandruff of the person(s) standing in front of you.
helena · June 15, 2007 at 9:26 pm
Maybe he was just trying to picture you in hat or eh, something!
Bock the Robber · June 15, 2007 at 9:34 pm
You could have tried phoning the Metropolitan Police. They’d have turned up and put eight bullets in his head, just to be on the safe side.
sooz · June 16, 2007 at 6:28 pm
Perhaps he was a blind man? You just happened to sit in his line of vision…
Or maybe he was meditating deeply and you interrupted his chakra (or summat)…
Clearly not his type…
clarissa · June 16, 2007 at 11:58 pm
You must have mucho charisma.
Brom · June 17, 2007 at 12:02 am
Don’t worry about it – You’ll be appearing in the next Derren Brown series on C4.
jamie · June 17, 2007 at 5:53 am
Perhaps by “five-second scuffle” you meant “quickie”?
marycub · June 17, 2007 at 2:20 pm
Buses are worse. And god help you if you’re female. 9 times out of 10 some nutter/alcoholic will try and sit next to me or sometimes if i’m lucky they just sit at the front and shout out random things to me.
melanie · June 18, 2007 at 7:41 pm
always rescue the kids first. easier to carry. Ha! i would have had a stare down with him too. Trance. meh!
luna · June 18, 2007 at 10:05 pm
Marycub, the one time they don’t sit next to you they go sit next to me.
But that’s only because I’m ugly.