In today’s world of terrorism and safety conscientious-ness, a simple flight is no longer a straight forward process. There are queues, check-ins, security questions, bag drops, more questions, undressing, x-raying, redressing, more queuing, more questions, more ID checks, and finally boarding.

During this process, we rely heavily on the screens that are strategically placed throughout the airport to stay informed. They give you regular updates on your flight, so you know where to be, and when.

Unfortunately, they lie.

No, you lying shits, the flight is not ‘boarding’. You just want everyone down at the gate to make your life easier. But I am the consumer, and you are not the boss of me.

No, the gate is not ‘closing’, in fact I would be surprised if it was even boarding at this point.

How would they like it if we lied back to them?

“No, I did not pack my bag! Ha!”, you could say after the first set of security questions. I am sure after a while they would just ignore me, and think, “Stupid traveller, he thinks he is satirising our poor use of communication media, but of course he packed his own bags, he always does.” Then of course the one time that a terrorist sneaks into my bag and places some high powered explosives and specialist porn (yes, it was the terrorists that put the porn in there), it would be too late, and the plane would be exploded apart in a big explosion from explosives.

That would serve the lying money-hungry idiots right.

No tags