Comments on: Haikus are for cunts

By: Nunhead Mum of One

Nunhead Mum of One — Tue, 29 May 2007 12:51:20 +0000

Here’s one that my friend’s 13 year old daughter wrote. She got an A+ for it. And they say that the education system is improving.

I have a vase
It’s empty now
I will go to the florists
and it will be full

By: Student of Life

Student of Life — Mon, 28 May 2007 22:56:17 +0000

Here’s a look at how pathetic my life was the last few years I worked in television news. Just for kicks, we started Haiku Wednesdays, days in which all reporters started their stories out with a Haiku. It was an interesting little challenge that no one would have ever noticed sitting in their cozy chairs watching the news. It just made us feel clever and in some way not as bad about our shit jobs and pathetic lives. Poor us.

By: johnny chaps

johnny chaps — Sat, 26 May 2007 20:04:40 +0000

You should read Simon Armitage-he’s a bloody good poet

By: Nickname

Nickname — Fri, 25 May 2007 22:36:30 +0000

The funniest blog and comments I have read forever.
Please make this a regular item.

By: Mr Farty

Mr Farty — Fri, 25 May 2007 06:19:52 +0000

I only know one haiku. But it’s also a limerick.

There was a young man from Japan
Whose poetry never would scan
When told this was so
He replied “Yes, I know
But I always like to try and get as many words into the last line as I possibly can.”

Farty sees coat
Suspended from hook
Farty takes hint and goes.

By: quick

quick — Fri, 25 May 2007 06:00:43 +0000

Still laughing at Katy Newton’s basil haiku.

Guess I’m a cunt then. Writing haiku can be fun, it’s not intellectual, it’s about discipline. It’s just a pointless way to amuse yourself. Like crossword puzzles. You could equally say that crosswords are for cunts… “Ooh look at you, chewing your pencil and gazing into the air while you try to think of three down seven letters starts with P. You think you’re soooo intellectual don’t you. Cunt.”

Hang on – that is what I think when I see someone doing a crossword.

I agree that the frog one sucks bum though.

By: Scott

Scott — Fri, 25 May 2007 02:09:28 +0000

Poetry is for people who cant write songs too well.
Limericks are great, so long as you cant predict the ending after the second line.
The haiku however, is for cunts… no exceptions.
I have a Japanese friend, even she says they’re utter crap.
You just cant beat proper good lyrics in my book … lyrics that sound good when they’re sung and read well when they’re written down too.

By: Sam Cullum

Sam Cullum — Thu, 24 May 2007 20:45:56 +0000

oo er misses

By: melanie

melanie — Thu, 24 May 2007 18:55:32 +0000

A gentleman came up to me while I was cooking out at the beach, he wanted to warm himself by my fire. He proceeded to tell me about a stack of books he rescued from the middle of the road somewhere, they must have fallen off a truck. One of them was a book of limericks published in the early 1900’s.

Now there was some writing! all the penis and vagina references you could ever want! (not to mention the nefarious activities that include those organs.) We laughed out loud, and finished a bottle of wine.

yea. haiku’s are shit. Limericks ROCK!

By: An Unreliable Witness

An Unreliable Witness — Thu, 24 May 2007 18:34:48 +0000

Haikus are for cunts
Tanka are where it’s now at
Sayeth the Witness

By: Katy Newton

Katy Newton — Thu, 24 May 2007 17:01:00 +0000

I think from now on
I will communicate sole
-ly through the haiku.

By: Dr_Clip

Dr_Clip — Thu, 24 May 2007 16:11:22 +0000

oh, I think I see.
How to pen a Haiku now.
It’s actually good fun.

By: La Cubana Gringa

La Cubana Gringa — Thu, 24 May 2007 16:08:04 +0000

One of my faves:

There once was an old man named Dave
Who kept an old whore in a cave
She was ugly as shit
and was missing a tit
But think of the money he saved.

By: Katy Newton

Katy Newton — Thu, 24 May 2007 16:00:13 +0000

Booo, the numbers were all wrong. 5-7-5, people. Okay:

A pot of basil
Standing on the window ledge.
I am cross with it.

Yes. Better.

By: BoyOnTop

BoyOnTop — Thu, 24 May 2007 15:57:12 +0000

Strugling for something to be angry about today huh?

By: Dr_Clip

Dr_Clip — Thu, 24 May 2007 15:08:39 +0000

A lazy brown fox.
Jumps over the fence.
Looking.
From the other side.

I got this down now kids. I got the letter A – Z in my Haiku too.

I’m the Haiku master.
Twisted Haiku master
Twisted. Twisted. Ouch.

By: Katy Newton

Katy Newton — Thu, 24 May 2007 14:53:09 +0000

I’ve got one.

A simple pot of basil
by the window. I
tend it angrily.

Seventeen syllables, mofos. Count ‘em.

By: Dr_Clip

Dr_Clip — Thu, 24 May 2007 14:45:38 +0000

Dear IamLivid.com
You really think your’e “da bomb”
So get those fingers a walking
And we’ll do the talking
Or I’ll publish that pic of your Mom

By: Katy

Katy — Thu, 24 May 2007 14:21:38 +0000

Yet people resort to it at all the times when they’re so messed-up they can’t articulate themselves, or won’t attempt to? Really that crap? What recent stuff have you read?

By: Four Dinners

Four Dinners — Thu, 24 May 2007 14:02:08 +0000

There was an old man from Leeds
Who swallowed a packet of seeds
Great tufts of grass shot out of his arse
and his cock was all covered with weeds

S’only one I know.

Jax is doin poetry for her ‘A’ level. It is so crap I fell asleep as she read me some.