I have been receiving Physiotherapy treatment from a rather attractive young woman in a local private hospital. For my dislocated shoulder, I have not broken another bit of me.

There is a very difficult line to draw when talking to an attractive female health professional. It lies between giving an honest assessment of the pain your are suffering during the treatment, and demonstrating your unwavering manliness in face of eye-watering uncomfortableness. This means the cycle of treatment/response goes much like this…

*Stretch* “fine?”
“fine”

*Stretch* “fine?”
“fine”

*Stretch* “fine?”
“YEAHAAHAGHGHGHG!!”

Due to the fact that I yelp in pain like a little girl at least twice a session, I have taken to trying to impress her in other ways, and what better than through the use of jokes? Women love jokes. And I am really funny. Honestly.

This week she was showing me a new stretch she wanted me to try, which involved keeping your left elbow tucked at your side, your arm at 90 degrees in front of you with your clenched fist facing palm-upwards and your thumb sticking out. Then you have to move your arm out in the direction of your thumb as far as it will go. Like you were really slowing hitch a lift.

“OK, now you do that, and stop when you feel any pain.” she said letting me copy her.

“Heeeeyyyyy!” I said.

“I’m sorry?”

“HeeeeYYYYY!” I said again, this time leaning back a little bit for even greater comedic effect.

“Err, is it hurting?”

“No! I am being the Fonz!” I clarified, waiting for the ensuing belly laugh.

“Fonz who?”

“Sorry, I think that’s a bit before my time.”

It turns out she is twenty-two years of age, and has never heard of Happy Days. How is this possible? Have you ever heard of a worse indictment of modern youth culture? It is almost enough for me to not fancy her any more. Almost. So, I have resolved to spend the next week perfecting impressions within her frame of reference. Can anyone out there teach me how to do an Arctic Monkey?

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