Making eye contact with someone as you approach a cash point is potentially catastrophic move to make. Particularly if that person is a woman, and you are man (like what I am).
It is a bad move because a) You then feel obliged by the crappy laws of chivalry to let her go first at the machine, and b) because women simply cannot just withdraw money, and move on.
She entered her card and PIN number, then made some umming and arrring noises, and selected a mini statement or balance, which the machine then printed it. She looked at it like it was a message from God, and then read it. Then screwed it up and threw it away.
By this time her card had been ejected, at which point she put it straight back in. She then asked for some cash (via the keypad – she was rubbish at using an ATM, but I think even she realised that speaking to a machine would be mental), and also asked for a receipt. Which she then screwed into a ball and threw into the bin.
Men go up to cashpoints, put in their PIN, press the cash only button, select upwards of £50 and move on. If the banks undertook some analysis of cash machine use, I am sure you would see that women spend much longer using them than men. Perhaps a bank will bring out speed-ATM’s, like the 10 items or fewer queue in the Supermarket, which will not allow you to print anything or find anything out, just give you cash. Then women could take as long as they like at the normal cash machines and not steal a whole minute of my life.
Then everyone would use these new speed cash-points like a man. Women, please try and do the same.
No tags
Oli · April 4, 2007 at 7:45 am
Poor attempt to show off your riches, I rarely get more than £40 out you swanky bastard =p
Mo · April 4, 2007 at 8:00 am
Minted!!
GH · April 4, 2007 at 8:21 am
Defo for the speed ATM. You’ll be able to get in, get cash and get mugged all the quicker, leaving that much longer to bleed at the local casualty unit waiting to see a doctor.
GH.
TJ · April 4, 2007 at 8:25 am
Today u mostly be talking bollocks. Your straw poll of one does not equate to 100% of all women. I am a cash only type of girl and never get receipts.
For those of you with twisted minds, I am of course referring to cash point usage!
Dr_Clip · April 4, 2007 at 8:48 am
Simple,
Femail only cash point machines with buttons such as:
Push 1 for shoes
Push 2 for girls night out
Push 3 for beauty treatment
Or design it to look like a washing machine et voila, they will be in and out in a jiffy.
The Doctor.
Dr_Clip · April 4, 2007 at 8:53 am
Oh dear, I can’t even spell female, demonstrates my general understanding of the fairer sex.
Equine Pimp · April 4, 2007 at 9:08 am
You have cleverly omitted the one time that it is not good to be stuck behind a man at a cash point. That time would be when he is with his mates and is on a night out.
When this happens, the time for 4 men to use a cash point can be up to 10 minutes – Each!
This is due to the hilarious antics of waiting until the cash only button is pressed which is the green light for 1, 2 or all 3 not using the machine to attempt to forcible remove the other from in front of the machine and press the £250 button.
Oh how the queue of 15 soaking wet people on a Saturday night laugh when something like that happens.
It was bloody funny tho
Betty · April 4, 2007 at 9:09 am
I never get a receipt, in fact I don’t even get a balance on screen, I would just rather live in blissful ignorance of my bank balance.
I am also very quick in the ladies room.
If it weren’t for my fabulous knockers I would question my femininity.
S Hamilton · April 4, 2007 at 9:15 am
It’s much easier to have it delivered in a fleet of security vans. Then the team of mute Filipino servants employed to carefully iron all your bank notes can do their jobs, place the money on sheets of Egyptian cotton in the room reserved for rolling about in huge wads of money, where you can get on with the arduous task of snorting strawberry cocaine whilst being serviced by gold painted Thai hookers whilst rolling about in your money.
Bunch o’ plebs, the lot of you.
Dr_Clip · April 4, 2007 at 10:05 am
Strawberry Cocaine, I think you may be on to something there, a healthy high.
z · April 4, 2007 at 10:12 am
If you were ahead of me but offered to let me go first, I’d assume you were going to mug me as soon as I’d got my money out, so I’d refuse.
I get £200 out, pressing no unnecessary buttons, but I do get a receipt as I don’t trust the bastard bank. I keep the receipt as I don’t trust potential bastards in the queue.
Fussy Bitch · April 4, 2007 at 10:38 am
I keep all my cash under my mattress.
The man who feels that penny will be a real true prince.
Celeste · April 4, 2007 at 11:12 am
I am a very impatient person and I have to say I get so annoyed at faffers at an atm. Seriously you know there is a queue what the hell are you doing.
Yesterday I was standing behind a guy who took 13 minutes on the atm! honestly! So Mr, you should change women to people – as I’ve been stood behind many a bloke who took forever at a cash machine!!
Equine Pimp · April 4, 2007 at 11:18 am
Betty – was happily reading through the comments while eating my lunch and nearly covered the woman opposite with my sandwich. Can you at least post a warning if you are going to throw in fabulous knockers references out of the blue.
First time I have laughed out loud today but that is mainly due to the fact that my boss is a cunt
brom · April 4, 2007 at 11:50 am
I go one step further and never use cashpoints. That’s the missus’s job.
Betty · April 4, 2007 at 12:52 pm
Equine Pimp, somehow I think
WARNING! CONTAINS FABULOUS KNOCKERS REFERENCE!
is not going to help much.
Happy to give it a go.
Equine Pimp · April 4, 2007 at 12:58 pm
Good point, well made
Exactly how fabulous?
Betty · April 4, 2007 at 1:27 pm
Not like Keeley Hazell.
Sigh.
I love her.
La Cubana Gringa · April 4, 2007 at 1:54 pm
[wistfully:] Sigh…I do too.
La Cubana Gringa · April 4, 2007 at 2:02 pm
[Having snapped out of it:] I fear the installing of speed atm’s would create an atm experience not unlike that of using the bathroom at a bar on a friday night.
And since I happen to get frustrated enough with the chic’s bathroom line often enough to sneak into the men’s room, all I ask is that if you do succeed at getting your speed atms, please don’t pee all over the keys like you pee all over the seat.
Much appreciated.
Equine Pimp · April 4, 2007 at 2:42 pm
Her recent film is very good (so I’ve heard obviously)
Angry – what was this post about? It seems to a drifted onto breasts – not that I am saying that’s a bad thing
Oli · April 4, 2007 at 3:06 pm
Nothing wrong with breasts, though I have yet to have seen NFG’s apparently fantastic rack. (She will never be Betty in my eyes)
Dr_Clip · April 4, 2007 at 3:22 pm
I demand to see some
FABULOUS KNOCKERS … NOW!
GH · April 4, 2007 at 3:28 pm
That’s why they invented t’internet Doc.
But I’m happy to add my name to the “Let’s see Betty Beautiful Baps” petition.
GH
GH · April 4, 2007 at 3:31 pm
Err.. that’s “Betty’s Beautiful Baps” obviously.
Ooh, and a petition for Strawbeery Coke, possibly with extra vitamin C to help all htose free radicals.
GH.
GH · April 4, 2007 at 3:32 pm
Arrgh! Ok, I give up, I’ve been typing to much today, I need to uncramp my fingers by wrapping ‘em round a pint or six.
GH.
Betty · April 4, 2007 at 3:37 pm
Oh dear, I cannot cope with the attention.
Interestingly enough, La Cubana Gringa has some fine baps on her blog. Hit the first page and scroll down people.
Admin comment by Mr Angry · April 4, 2007 at 4:36 pm
Oh – I have had a busy day and popped in to see the comments and thought, “Oh look, they have really got on board with the idea of slow ATM useage. I am sure some of them will have come up with some savage ways of speeding up the process.”
But no, it is just tits tits tits…
Not that I cam complaining, but this thread is useless without pictures.
Ldbug · April 4, 2007 at 7:12 pm
I, for one (woman) do not take long at the ATM at all. Mostly it’s b/c I don’t want to be depressed at how little money I have.
So I just take what I can and run away…just run away……
melanie · April 11, 2007 at 12:31 am
No sir. I beg to differ, I am a completely in and out kind of woman. don’t waste my time at the cash machine!
but then again I am an american, and well, i would rather be somewhere else, doing the in and out thing.