I forget things from time to time.
Not in the way that old people beyond their mid-thirties do, I mean in a my-mind-is-actually-elsewhere kind of way. I can forget my keys, my wallet, or perhaps my phone. This will see me reach quickly to the pocket where I would expect to find the potentially forgotten item, usually to find it was there all along.
Normally I find what I was looking for quite quickly, and my hand returns to whatever it was doing before the brief moment of panic.
However, one thing I have never forgotten are my genitals.
Which is why I am bemused by this new fad for young men to walk around with their hands down their pants. I can only assume, that like me, they feel they might have forgotten them, and are simply looking for testicular reassurance. Thinking you have left your genitals at home must be a horrible experience, probably worse than forgetting your phone.
You would have to check, immediately, irrespective of where you are, and I would imagine it would be very disconcerting indeed to find they were not there. But for these kids it must be a genuine fear, especially when you consider the amount of time the hand spends in there.
Of course, perhaps this is an dumbed down version of the socks-down-your-pants effect when trying to make yourself look bigger in that area? I mean, a fist isn’t too dissimilar in size from a pair of socks (regular not ski).
Perhaps someone should tell them that you can actually see the hand leading into the pants, which somewhat ruins the desired bigger-balled effect. If I could offer one piece of advice it would be to try and slip a hand in from the rear, it would be a little more awkward, and the walk wouldn’t be as cool, but at least it wouldn’t be so obvious. Probably.
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Oli · March 27, 2007 at 7:44 am
Stretched for something to complain about today?
Last time I saw a kid doing that was in a cheesy 70/80’s movie.
clarissa · March 27, 2007 at 8:09 am
Usually the same guys who genuinely have forgotten their belts — as the trousers are falling way down low.
Admin comment by Mr Angry · March 27, 2007 at 8:54 am
Oli – Maybe it is a southern phenomenon? I have seen it twice in the last couple of days including in the barbers.
Clarissa – Ah yes, I have a theory on that too, and I will be sharing it tomorrow…
GH · March 27, 2007 at 9:01 am
I dunno, kids these days. They’re probably thinking that if they don’t hold onto them, they’ll drop off. Or maybe there’s a craze similar to happy-slappin, called happy-ball-kicking? I know its what I think of doing when I see these idiots.
GH.
f:lux · March 27, 2007 at 9:10 am
“I forget things from time to time.
Not in the way that old people beyond their mid-thirties do, I mean in a my-mind-is-actually-elsewhere kind of way.”
What’s the difference? Haven’t you heard of premature senility?
z · March 27, 2007 at 9:22 am
But a hand slipped in from the rear might look as if you were checking if you’d accidentally crapped yourself.
BoyOnTop · March 27, 2007 at 9:35 am
This is a cultural norm I have not yet seen, and fervently hope I won’t. Just what are they thinking? I mean I know the family jewels are important, but they can’t exactly be stolen…
Betty · March 27, 2007 at 9:40 am
It’s a gesture to suggest that they have a cock and know how to use it.
Much like the 14 year old boys on the tube who talk loudly about receiving blow jobs.
They are “doing it”.
Respect.
Murph · March 27, 2007 at 10:03 am
I noticed Justin Timberland doing it when I was at the gym. They asked him to leave.
Oli · March 27, 2007 at 10:10 am
To set your mind at rest betty men still talk about it when htehy receive a blow job from a particularly good looking girl.
Dr_Clip · March 27, 2007 at 10:12 am
I dont do this whilst walking, but when on the telephone and laying down I find it quite comforting to cup and fondle, whether I am speaking to firends, fmaily, work whomever.
Try it. You might like it.
The Doctor.
Fussy Bitch · March 27, 2007 at 10:48 am
I think the Dr has hit the nail on the head with the word ‘comforting’
It’s a security wanket.
billyboy · March 27, 2007 at 12:21 pm
Bollocks
Ariel · March 27, 2007 at 12:42 pm
Erm, could they be doing so to relieve a persisting itch, or perhaps to dislodge some unwelcome beasties from their pubes? Just a thought…
TJ · March 27, 2007 at 12:44 pm
Are you just bitter because one of your arms is in a sling so you can’t “reach and cup”.
Perhaps you can use your slinged arm to grab your man boob and see if it catches on with the fairer species. Look at it as a social experiment!
billyboy · March 27, 2007 at 1:43 pm
Men are advised to feel and examine their themselves every three months for signs of testicular cancer. Maybe these youffs are just being health conscious?
I wonder how many words or expressions there are for testicles.
Admin comment by Mr Angry · March 27, 2007 at 4:17 pm
GH – Can they not afford a box?
f:lux – It wouldn’t be the first premature type illness I’ve suffered from…
z – That would be the point…
BoT – consider yourself lucky. I have seen it once today as well.
Betty – What is the gesture for having a cock and not having the first clue how to use it?
Murph – Through the backdoor…?
Oli – Let us be clear. There is no need for them to be good looking.
Dr Clip – Do you draw the blinds in your office first?
FB – I see what you did there!
billboy – probably
Ariel – A not entirely pleasant one at that
TJ – I do not have man boobs!!
billyboy – So health conscious it could make them go blind.
greavsie · March 27, 2007 at 8:31 pm
Maybe they’ve just been caught short?
Will · March 27, 2007 at 8:44 pm
We live in a fast-paced society these days. Wanking and walking is just the next evolutionary time-saving step. Soon there’ll be a phone that can do this for you.
Ldbug · March 27, 2007 at 9:09 pm
I remember seeing guys do that a few years ago. It was a big thing in the south (US south)and in LA. I feel it’s one of those “don’t ask, don’t tell” things….