I forget things from time to time.

Not in the way that old people beyond their mid-thirties do, I mean in a my-mind-is-actually-elsewhere kind of way. I can forget my keys, my wallet, or perhaps my phone. This will see me reach quickly to the pocket where I would expect to find the potentially forgotten item, usually to find it was there all along.

Normally I find what I was looking for quite quickly, and my hand returns to whatever it was doing before the brief moment of panic.

However, one thing I have never forgotten are my genitals.

Which is why I am bemused by this new fad for young men to walk around with their hands down their pants. I can only assume, that like me, they feel they might have forgotten them, and are simply looking for testicular reassurance. Thinking you have left your genitals at home must be a horrible experience, probably worse than forgetting your phone.

You would have to check, immediately, irrespective of where you are, and I would imagine it would be very disconcerting indeed to find they were not there. But for these kids it must be a genuine fear, especially when you consider the amount of time the hand spends in there.

Of course, perhaps this is an dumbed down version of the socks-down-your-pants effect when trying to make yourself look bigger in that area? I mean, a fist isn’t too dissimilar in size from a pair of socks (regular not ski).

Perhaps someone should tell them that you can actually see the hand leading into the pants, which somewhat ruins the desired bigger-balled effect. If I could offer one piece of advice it would be to try and slip a hand in from the rear, it would be a little more awkward, and the walk wouldn’t be as cool, but at least it wouldn’t be so obvious. Probably.

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