My mobile phone rings, as it does from time to time.

It is 7:30pm so the call is unlikely to be work related, but the number starts with 0808 which is a prefix I do not recognise. I expect it will be a sales call of some sort, but just to be sure, I answer it tentatively.

“Hello?”

“Hello, this is a call from Vodafone UK. Unfortunately we have been unable to connect this call, if you would like to stop receiving these calls, please dial [a number I have forgotten]. Thank you and apologies for any inconvenience caused.”

The automated voice hangs up.

This is a first. I have never before been called, by anyone, to tell me that they cannot get through to me. Normally when people cannot get through to me they stop at the ‘not being able to get through to me’ bit. Then, next time they do get through to me they say, “I tried to get through to you last time, but I couldn’t”. I accept this. It is the normal way of the world.

Vodafone clearly do things differently. Being the understanding chap that I am, I would have been happy to assume that the lack of contact from them meant that they couldn’t, or didn’t want to, get through to me. I would even be quite happy if when they eventually did get through to me they said, “Sorry Mr Angry, we’ve been trying to reach you for days, but for one reason or another, we couldn’t.”

What will be next? A letter from Royal Mail telling me that they have not been able to deliver the post that I have not yet received? Or Tesco emailing me to let me know that they will not be able to sell me the bread that I have not yet tried to buy?

Unfortunately, I felt like Vodafone had given me some information, and that I was somehow in their debt as a result. So I decided to be proactive about it.

“Welcome to Vodafone, my name is David, how can I help you?”

“If that has caused any inconvenience then I apologise, but hopefully we will speak again when I am interested in buying a new phone. B’bye now.”

Vodafone and I are now quitsies.

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