Todays guest is an occasional commenter, occasional golf/drinking buddy of mine, and a constant seller of Horse-bases sexual favours, he is, the Equine Pimp.
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Madness has descended on Angry and he is allowing me to rant on his site for the day. Obviously by that I mean that he has clearly gone insane and not that Suggs and crew have just landed on him after falling from a passing plane.
My complaint is a simple one.
Lesley Judd, Janet Ellis, Diane Louise-Jordan, Anthea Turner, Sarah Greene and Valerie Singleton.
These are the women of Blue Peter ‘past’ that I grew up with. In fairness, for a good proportion of that time I had more interest in football than the fairer sex and, even looking back, no one in that list would change my mind.
In a moment of weakness last Wednesday evening I channel surfed onto ‘Comic Relief Does Fame Academy’ (OK, I admit it, it is car crash TV and I couldn’t resist)
“Next up is Blue Peter presenter Zoe Salmon” announced Patrick Kielty, while trying (and failing) not to look smug.
My quick glance at the TV was instantly followed my jaw hitting the floor moment and a exclamation of “When the fuck did kids TV presenters start looking like that??”
I grew up with sensible, fairly frumpy presenters, yet todays kids get a super-hot blonde in short skirts. How the bloody hell is that fair? It’s not surprising that the teenage pregnancy rate is so high, if horny teenage boys are subjected to so called ’safe’ children’s programs containing such objects of desire. She should be on proper adult TV. Trust me, I know this because I’m now sky+’ing it, for research purposes. I’m sure Blue Peter is high on the favourites list of many young men across the country, I can almost imagine the conversations.
“Mum, I want a TV for my room”
“Not a chance, there is too much filth about today”
“I only want to watch Blue Peter in private.”
“Oh, OK then”
“And some kleenex wouldn’t go amiss either”
Is this the only case of this? Am I failing to remember the hot presenters from when I grew up? From a womens point of view, has John Noakes been replaced by a Brad Pitt look-alike?
Kids today? Lucky lucky bastards.
No tags
Kaptain Kobold · March 13, 2007 at 8:23 am
Lesley Judd wasn’t bad in her day as I recall. But these days? Two words – Konnie Huq …
Mmmmmmm.
clarissa · March 13, 2007 at 8:39 am
All I got was Captain Kangeroo.
Though being an equine pimp, maybe that does something for you … ? x, c
Oli · March 13, 2007 at 8:49 am
TV presenters have indeed become hot, short skirts and tight or lowcut revealing tops seem to becoming the norm now, gaurenteeing the entire population of young males will be tuning into the morning tv.
Two words
Fern Cotton.
Ild shag her daily, nightly ever so rightly.
(Cant remember which film i plageurised that from)
TJ · March 13, 2007 at 9:46 am
For me Steve Jones is a definite improvement on Peter Duncan and Simon Groome in the male presenter stakes. Although I’m not trying to compare Blue Peter with T4.
I know he’s not a TV presenter but does Mr Ed do it for you?
Working Kitten · March 13, 2007 at 9:57 am
I can confirm that male TV presenters have in general got much hotter in direct proportion to the increased hotness of the women presenters. You do get the feeling they mostly bat for the other team though.
Steve Jones though, now thats another matter . . . We had Peter Duncan, Simon Groome, Chris Tarrant and Noel Edmonds, no fair!
Four Dinners · March 13, 2007 at 11:05 am
Quite partial to Florence meself but sadly she was into dogs and rabbits.
Badger · March 13, 2007 at 11:24 am
Fearne Cotton is a fox, and nobody will ever change my mind…
I met Patrick Kielty in Auschwitz last November. He kept complaining that he needed a piss and asked if he could borrow my torch. I told him to knob off, the ginger cuntbag.
B.
Equine Pimp · March 13, 2007 at 12:27 pm
KK – mmmm indeed
Clarissa – I just pimp out the horses, they don’t do anything for me personally
Oli – they are two words that I seem unable to argue with. Are kids appreciating presenters like her though?
TJ – I reiterate my comment to Clarissa and add in a further comment of sick, sick, sick. It’s horse to horse, not horse to human
Working Kitten – are there any male presenters (apart from the obvious) that you feel should be outed then? Steve Jones – is that the one that had a go on Pamela Anderson?
Four Dinners – Florence was/is a cow and therefore Bovine and not my field of expertise (excuse the pun). Plus, on a separate note, please seek help
Badger – Hurrah. A like minded individual on the Kielty front. Great word as well
Equine Pimp · March 13, 2007 at 12:29 pm
KK – mmmmm indeed
Clarissa – I just pimp them out, they don’t do anything for me personally
Equine Pimp · March 13, 2007 at 12:33 pm
Oli – not disagreeing with you. Do kids even understand how lucky they are and do they appreciate it?
TJ – see response to Clarissa and raise it with sick, sick, sick. It is horse to horse, not horse to human.
Working Kitten – aside from the obvious, who do you feel needs to be outed then? Steve Jones? Is he the one who had a go on Pamela Anderson?
Equine Pimp · March 13, 2007 at 12:36 pm
Four Dinners – Florence is a cow and therefore Bovine. This is not my field of expertise (do you like what I’ve done there?). On a separate note, please seek help
Badger – Hurrah. A like minded individual on the Kielty front. Great word as well. I will endeavour to use it more in conversation (although perhaps not with my mother)
blue book cars » Blue Peter · March 13, 2007 at 12:54 pm
[...] Original post by Mr Angry [...]
Oli · March 13, 2007 at 1:22 pm
If you read 4D’s blog you will see he already did, they couldnt do anything.
Hence why it seems a bad idea to trust him with anything to do with Fire, Water heavy objects an on occasions air =p
Hes got some good stories under his belt though!
Private Adult » Private Adult March 13, 2007 6:55 am · March 13, 2007 at 2:15 pm
[...] More worrying than that Penny was starting to obsess on Julie, how she hated her and her …Blue Peter She should be on proper adult TV. Trust me, I know this because I?m now sky+?ing it, for research [...]
Betty · March 13, 2007 at 2:18 pm
I am not familiar with Blue Peter.
Hullo.
billyboy · March 13, 2007 at 2:54 pm
Sally James. hubba hubba.
Was it Sarah Greene or Lesley Judd who dropped in the shit once for telling one of their factual storys with a shire west indian accent.
Dont forget donughts like fannys.
Admin comment by Mr Angry · March 13, 2007 at 3:30 pm
Yesterday I was told Betty would write about eBay and today I was promised a post about the standard of children’s TV today.
Instead, I check in and it’s all sex sex sex.
Fat Jim, you have been warned…
Mrs F · March 13, 2007 at 4:10 pm
Ladies check out Sportacus in Lazytown, Phwoooaarrr! He does one arm press-ups and everything!
Equine Pimp · March 13, 2007 at 4:21 pm
Oli – ?
Private Adult – ????????????
Betty – put it this way, if you saw Blue Peter in the listings and tuned in in anticipation of porn and the first person you saw was Zoe Salmon you would think this programme has huge potenital. However, I guarantee you would then be very disappointed with the remaining 25 minutes.
Billyboy – Fanny who?
Angry – you were warned. Broken anything yet?
Arm? Leg? Warno? Chalet maid?
Mrs F – I can add nothing to that. I am reliably informed by a work colleague that Phwoooaarrr! is exactly the correct description
Mrs F · March 13, 2007 at 4:32 pm
Did I mention he does one arm press-ups?
Phwoooaarrr!
Fat Jim · March 13, 2007 at 6:12 pm
Mr A,
There is no way I would ever mix tomorrows subject matter and sex.
Unless she asked really really nicely of course…
Equine Pimp · March 13, 2007 at 7:42 pm
Fat Jim – you big tease you. Can’t wait for tomorrow, can we have a trailer?
Ldbug · March 13, 2007 at 8:09 pm
Well, McGyver wasn’t half bad…well, for the whole ’80s hairdo;-)
me · March 13, 2007 at 10:00 pm
lazytown is a little disturbing…
but enjie benji has a cute voice. and he can fix things
Minnie · March 13, 2007 at 11:04 pm
Fancying Sportacus is just WRONG. He is a superhero sent to champion the most irritating pink-haired stage school brat in the world. Why would you want to associate with a man like that? And the one armed press-ups are negated by the freaky moustache.
Equine Pimp · March 13, 2007 at 11:58 pm
Fat Jim, over to you
Kaptain Kobold · March 14, 2007 at 8:18 am
“lazytown is a little disturbing…”
It’s from Iceland. Say no more.
Working Kitten · March 14, 2007 at 10:26 am
Equine Pimp – Where do I start? Lets begin with Dick and Dom shall we? Very cute boys, could run circles round Simon Groom and Peter Duncan, but you can’t help but think that rather than their show being called Dick and Dom in the Bungalow it should have been Dick and Dom go Cottaging in the Bungalow. Of course, thats just the idle speculation of myself and my friends discussing down the pub . . . Ant and Dec started their presenting careers on kids TV too, and despite being more shaggable than a box of Brad Pitts and one of them being married, they sometimes seem a little too friendly . . .
Oh, and on Steve Jones, rumour has it he did get propositioned by Halle Berry when he interviewed her and further rumours link him to Angelina Jolie and Pam Anderson. He’s the most recent T4 male totty. Makes a Sunday hangover so much more bearable!
Equine Pimp · March 14, 2007 at 2:18 pm
Working Kitten – I can’t say I’m convinced on the Ant and Dec front. Geordies, like their football, fawn over Kirsty Gallacher, both like a drink, one married and one shagging Jonny Wilkinson’s ex – I can’t say your ideas hold water.
Fuck me, I’ve turned into a one man copy of Heat
Dick and Dom – undoubtedly
Scot · March 22, 2007 at 5:02 pm
Could we please moderate the beastly language? I personally liked Comic Relief Does Fame Academy – although I hoped Paddy Kielty would clock that arrogant Scots bully Richard Parks.