Do not worry, I am not going have yet another go at portly racist Jade Goody, I think she is still in India, so she probably isn’t keeping up to date with I Am Livid anyway.

I read a news article recently about an altogether different type of fat bitch. Slimming pills are nothing new. They have been on the market for many years, and are normally bought – by the truckload – by people too lazy to hit the treadmill for a few hours a week. They are cheating.

However I am struggling to see the market for slimming pills for dogs? If your dog is fat, feed it less, and take it for a walk every now and again. You would be amazed how many calories it can use up by scaring small children round a local park. Surely fattening it up, only to give it slimming pills is a form of animal cruelty? It is not as if a dog can open or tin or order a pizza is it? You can’t blame the dog (though if I had a dog that could pop down to the kebab shop for me, I would probably be happy to let it get fat as well).

As the Vet in the article says, “If owners knew that obese dogs die up to two years earlier than lean weight dogs, it would get them to sit up and think.”

I do not know if this is dog years or real years, though two dog years is only like a couple of weeks (probably), so I guess they mean real human years. Plus, I don’t think ’sitting up and thinking about it’ is going to help. Sitting up right only burns marginally more calories than lying down. They need to actually get off their arses and walk their bloody dogs.

They say people resemble their dogs, so I would imagine that there is a strong correlation between fat dogs and fat dog owners. Maybe this new pill is being secretly aimed at dog owners as it is cheaper than the human alternative? Fat people can be very sneaky like that. Especially with cakes and burgers.

Do you have a fat dog and are you a fatty too?

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