I rarely go to bed before midnight. I think it dates back to when, as a child, my parents used to make me go to bed early, though I suppose my rebellion phase should have finished by now.
Anyway, I was really quite tired on Monday evening so I was in bed shortly after 10pm, a ridiculous hour to go to sleep I am sure you’d agree, but it meant I would get up early to go for a run. It was not long before I drifted off the land of nod.
“THWADUNK!”
I shot up in bed to the sound of something collapsing downstairs. This was followed by some muttering and shuffling from my flatmate, who had clearly knocked something over. I could not be arsed getting out of bed so I let him sort it out and tried to go back to sleep.
Flatmate too, went to bed, and I began to drift off back to the dream I was starring in with the lovely Rosamund Pike.
“waa waa waa waa waa WAA WAA WAA WAA WAA”
A siren noise was coming from downstairs, not unlike a toy fire engine. But I do not own a toy fire engine, and it was a strange hours of the day for my flatmate to be playing with his.
“WAAA WAAA WAAA WAAA!!”
The noise got louder and the landing light came on as my flatmate went to investigate. I heard him go downstairs and then try and hang up the phone. He had obviously knocked the phone to the floor and didn’t hang it up correctly.
Some further muttering convinced me he was unable to hang up a phone. He is an accountant, so he should be able to hang up a phone, though I have heard about people who are good with numbers being rubbish at every day normal tasks like hanging up a phone or dressing themselves.
There was further muttering, and then I heard him head to the kitchen and leave the WAAA WAAA WAAA-ing which had now reached a crescendo.
He returned and I heard some fiddling with what sounded like a screwdriver, all to the continuing WAAA WAAA WAAA-ing. Eventually, after about three hours, he pulled the cable from the wall and silence returned.
Despite the waiting Ms Pike, I could not sleep for worrying about what damage the worlds most clumsy man had caused to my flat. I am of the firm conclusion that after this, and previous incidents, he is slowly trying to demolish my home before he moves out in a few weeks time.
This is why you should not have early nights.
No tags
15 comments
<< A cab ride
greavsie · February 28, 2007 at 8:31 am
I’m afraid that if I were you I would have had my dressing gown on over my superman jimmy-jams and been down there like a shot.
Unless your dream involved actions of course…
Alan · February 28, 2007 at 9:26 am
And has the damage been assessed and due recompense been allotted? Along with a swift kick in the nads for being a noisy b’stard…
Flatmate · February 28, 2007 at 9:48 am
a)What kind of eeejit bases his phone on the stairs anyway?
b)Try and get recompense from me and you will be hearing from Injury Lawyers 4 U in regards to my badly stubbed toe and slight deafening in my left ear (the waa waa was WAA WAA right next to it)
c)I was impressed with the arc said phone made, it cleared the ironing board and makes me think that Jonny Wilkinsons job is a piece of piss.
d)god I am an accountant writing this in a bleedin list
billyboy · February 28, 2007 at 10:14 am
You put the kids to bed early so you can stay up late and do grown up things – like watch decent TV, drink or even shag. But never shag your flat mate, cos if it goes wrong, and it will, they keep knocking the friggin phone off the hook or being generaly noisey when they shouldn’t.
I am told that hand molded broccoli makes very good ear plugs.
Mrs F · February 28, 2007 at 10:14 am
Mr A, I used to think 10pm was an early bedtime also. Then I had those small things that exhaust you and make you so tired you forget your own name….. children. Now 10.30 is a late night.
If you went to bed that early, were you wide awake at 5am?
fatman · February 28, 2007 at 2:30 pm
It is a Universal truth that if you go to bed early when you are usually a late night type of guy something will conspire to wake you. The deeper you sleep, the more tired you are the more things get involved.
It’s like the ridiculous modes of death in Final Destination, just with sleep. You’re lucky to get away with just a phone involved Mr Angry.
Still, some kind of retribution against oaf of flatmate is justified.
Dr_Clip · February 28, 2007 at 4:21 pm
does you flatmate finger your vegtables?
Badger · February 28, 2007 at 4:51 pm
I’ve done that before, except “THWADUNK!” was me getting in a car and the phone was an innocent mother and child. Ford Fiestas are fucking piss.
B.
maggie · February 28, 2007 at 7:00 pm
hey, i am an accountant and we do some other useful stuff besides crunching numbers!
maybe he was trying to call your attention in an effeminate way.
ahhh, guys are so bloody clueless sometimes!
tideliar · February 28, 2007 at 8:04 pm
Actually sounds somewhat like my living arrangments. It reached a new peak a couple of weeks ago when my flatmate and his chums burst into my bedroom at 1:30am with a bag of blow and a sixpack of beer, wondering why I didn’t want to join in the fun. Needless-to-say I am looking forward to the added finacial burden of getting my own place in the very near future…
Ldbug · February 28, 2007 at 10:03 pm
Ahhhh yes. I usually try to get to bed by 11 or 11:30pm, but on the nights when I’m in bed earlier something (usually cat related) will keep me up until 1am. I’m also trying to run in the mornings instead of the evenings, but it’s getting hard…
steve_p · February 28, 2007 at 11:19 pm
I go to bed when I am tired (crazy huh!!)I used to have to get up at 4am, sometimes tried to go bed early i.e 10.30 but couldn’t sleep, so normaly bout 12ish. Maybe thats why I got the sack for sleeping on the job…….
day in bed · March 1, 2007 at 4:58 am
I could never ever go to bed at 10. I like to stay up and practically do a second day. Getting up for work is a total nightmare though. I often feel like I have a hangover when I haven’t even touched a drop. Honest.
Oli · March 1, 2007 at 8:56 am
Your comments seem to be broken on tomorrows post!
Admin comment by Mr Angry · March 1, 2007 at 10:13 am
Oli – Fixed, I think…