Marks & Spencer can be a busy place at lunchtime. For this reason they have added small tills for people who are just buying a couple of things for lunch. People like me.

On Friday lunchtime I popped in to pick up a sandwich. I was dressed casually as Friday is the office ‘dress-down’ day, which basically means the men get to do what the women do every other day of the week, and wear what we like. I was planning on heading straight to the pub after work, so I was wearing reasonably smart casual clothes.

When it was my turn, I was lucky enough to be served by the prettiest of the till operators, which is always nice. She rang in my goods quickly and efficiently, like only a pretty girl can, and then asked me for payment. I rummaged in my pockets for my cash card whilst trying to think of something suave and charming to say, when it happened.

Onto the counter between us, fell a condom. From my pocket I might add, she had not thrown down some sort of intercourse-related payment challenge to me.

She looked at it. Then looked at me. Then back at it.

“That’s £4.90 please.” she continued like the true retail professional she is.

“Ha, better safe than sorry eh? I hear the lunchtime rush in here can be a right den of iniquity!” I joked, trying to deflect attention from the condoms appearance whilst handing over my card.

“Would you like any cash back?” she asked avoiding a further direct look at the condom.

“Err, no. Thanks.” I backtracked, whilst putting the condom back in my pocket.

It became clear to me, in that instant, that she was under the impression I wanted to have sex with her. Which I suppose was quite correct, in the strictest sense of the word, but I am not normally so forward with it. I suppose it was also possible that her calm reaction to a potentially embarrassing situation suggested that she too, wanted to have sex with me.

Unfortunately, there were lots of people in the queue and I would probably have suffered some form of performance anxiety with all those eyes on me. We would have had to go somewhere quiet, like the menswear section, and she did not get where she is today by leaving a queue full of hungry people unserved. I was not about to ruin the career of promising retail operative for a few moments of sexual gratification, no matter how quickly I could get her back to her till. So I let it go.

We silently agreed to keep the transaction on a purely professional, customer and client basis, without the sex bit.

“Can you put your PIN in please” she continued.

“I’m not a weirdo or anything, obviously. It just fell out.” I said tapping away the four digit code that I will never give away on an Internet site.

She handed me my carrier bag and receipt, with the merest hint of a smile, and our brief dalliance was over.

It is a good lesson for us boys to learn, keep your condoms safely tucked away in your wallet, because although girls admire a responsible attitude to sex (which I have got, feel free to admire it), they do not want to be reminded of it whilst selling you a chicken salad sandwich.