My job has taken me to some exotic and interesting places. Prague, Rome, Boston, Manchester, New York. All excellent places to spend a few days with work. Unfortunately I won’t be adding Bangor in North Wales to the list.

“Hi, This is Mr Angry in room 5, can you tell me how to get onto your wireless internet service?”

“Oh, I’m afraid it’s down at the moment, we’re waiting for someone to fix it.”

This is not good news, I had explicitly told our hotel booker at work to book a place with Internet access as I had work to do and needed to be on line with access to our systems to do it.

“You could try the pizzeria across the way, they have wireless I believe.”

And that is what I did.

“Hello, I was told you had wireless internet access here?”

“Yes, well, normally, but it’s down at the moment.”

“Right. OK, is there anywhere in this town that I can get on-line at this time of night?”

“The University, are you a student?”

I have never been more insulted. I do not look like a student. Even when I was a student I didn’t look like a student, apart from briefly in the second year during my pony-tail and goatee phase.

“No. I am not a student!”

“Right, you won’t be able to use that then. I don’t think there is anywhere else in Bangor where you can get online at 8 O’clock in the evening I’m afraid.”

This is the first time in recent memory that I have been unable to get onto the Internet. It is an isolating feeling. I can now empathise with those people who live in huts in the desert or jungle etc.

Next time someone tells you we are in the middle of an Internet revolution, and that the world is now fully online, tell the fuckers to get their arses to North Wales, so that they can see how the indigenous armish people live.

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