Steve Jobs is a smug cunt isn’t he? Every eighteen months or so, Apple launch a new product that will ‘revolutionise’ the face of whatever it is that this new thing does. The iPhone is obviously the latest attempt, and the one that everyone is talking about, but they have been doing it for years.
They don’t even take the trouble to actually invent anything any more. They just take an existing invention, take some the buttons away, erganomicise it (yes it is a word), make it white, add a 400% mark up and launch it on the unsuspecting public.
This is enough to ensure that general public and his army of sheep will keep the demand sky high, and with it, Apples profits. If you think I’m being over-critical, then just look at the history of the products they have launched.
Take one Walkman, take away the buttons, make it white, make it a bit ’rounded’, and there you go. The iPod.
Take one modern mobile phone, take away the buttons, make it white, make it a bit rounded, and there you go. The iPhone.
And yet technologists the world over are creaming themselves over their ‘inventions’. I have this theory that you could sell anything on eBay if you put the little ‘i’ in front of it.
iChair – the white sofa for all your nerdy needs, iDress – a plain wedding dresses for the fashion minimalist, or even iBike – Yes, I know it looks like a white scooter, but really it is a bike that has been through the Apple improvement process.
If you are going to buy an iPhone, then please feel free to defend yourself below.
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35 comments
<< Sniff
Bob · January 18, 2007 at 8:16 am
I fancy an iScream tho.
Oli · January 18, 2007 at 8:46 am
I dont like the majority of apples releases, too much restriction on what you can put on them.
I think its fantastic that Cisco Made the iPhone first, years ago, and are doing their best to stop apple using their brandname.
Go Cisco WoooHooooooo
afc30k · January 18, 2007 at 9:12 am
But do you have an iPod?????
marycub · January 18, 2007 at 9:15 am
They are now selling an image not necessarily a new and inovative product. When i took my degree our design tutors hated the ipod and if a student so much as mentioned it in their projects – instant mark down.
steve · January 18, 2007 at 9:45 am
How about the iBrator?
And I just wonder whether the iPhone will be co-branded with Orange in Europe.
ella · January 18, 2007 at 9:46 am
i love my macbook, in white
sigh
Dr J · January 18, 2007 at 10:12 am
Angry old son if I were you I’d trademark the iChair / iSofa, iDress and iBike quick. You know they’ll do them eventually and you’ll make a killing on royalties what with your “proper will-sue-your-arse copyright”.
Dr J (hence forth iDoc- well after all I’m already white and a bit rounded off at the corners).
z · January 18, 2007 at 10:15 am
‘take away the buttons, make it white, make it a bit rounded’, what, make it better, more efficient, easier to use (erganomicise), more attractive? Seems quite a good idea to me.
It’s simple. How many people love their pc? Not many. How many Mac users love their computer? Pretty well all of us.
Goodwin · January 18, 2007 at 11:01 am
I was just about to agree with you on this one when I thought I would check out the product first (only fair!)
Total shock, the iPhone is black! Im sure they will do the traditional white and girlie pink, but the one on the http://www.apple.com/iphone/ website is black.
It looks pretty good too, but doubt it will support TomTom and other things non-Apple that my current Nokia does.
The Girl · January 18, 2007 at 11:23 am
I might buy one. The third version of it though, when it’s actually 3G, rather than the 2.5 crap, and when all the bugs and screen-faults have been ironed out.
Until then, it’s my functional, but not very pretty Nokia (with Wifi, hi-speed broadband, 3G etc – everything a girl could want) (bar it being attached to a handsome, intelligent man who’s good at cooking, but then we can’t have everything).
Admin comment by Mr Angry · January 18, 2007 at 11:45 am
Bob – iScream, I haven’t heard that joke in, oh, hours… the old ones eh?
Oli – Cisco? I thought he just made rubbish R&B and teen-movies.
Afc – that is neither here nor there.
marycub – Design degree? You really can do anything at Uni these days eh?
Steve – iBrator – love it!!
ella – how can you love a computer? Unless it is a bit like that film Weird Science.
Dr J – iDoc, there is an iDock, but I will take your advice, though it is here on the Internet for all eternity now.
z – Surely that just proves people who are predesposed to loving computers buy Macs?
Goodwin – They do black iPods too, but only after the white one comes out first.
The Girl – Yes, 3rd version at the very least. Obviously.
* checks out self in mirror before returning to the kitchen to check on dinner. This Mensa t-shirt looks good *
Betty · January 18, 2007 at 11:52 am
Thong tha thong thong thong.
greavsie · January 18, 2007 at 12:37 pm
‘…take away the buttons, make it white, make it a bit ’rounded’, and there you go….’
That sounds like me!
drunk punk · January 18, 2007 at 12:50 pm
prefer bananas
fooyork · January 18, 2007 at 1:09 pm
But. But. But, they are so pretty. mmmm, loveliness.
The thing is that most companies come up with some good ideas, but have no idea how to make those ideas into something anyone can use (not a complete geek). Apple takes the same ideas, and figures out a way for it to become simple – like the iPod.
Everyone has an iPod, so they must be doing something right.
But yes, enough with the whiteness already. No more whites I say! Up with the blacks! Down with the whites.
Badger · January 18, 2007 at 1:19 pm
I don’t trust Apple these daya anyway. I wopnder if the iPhone is programmed to break after two years as well. Bastards. I’m going to start a company called “Pear”, and release the jPod and jPhone.
Badger · January 18, 2007 at 1:20 pm
NB: This keyboard is shite.
BoyOnTop · January 18, 2007 at 1:32 pm
I have but one response
He does do it, and is worth billions
Admin comment by Mr Angry · January 18, 2007 at 2:05 pm
Betty – Here was me thinking no-one would get that…
greavsie – desired by millions too?
drunk punk – difficult to make phone calls on them though?
Fooyork – Hello. Are you from Big Brother?
Badger – I am convinced they hve built in obsolescence.
BoT – Yes yes, but is he happy?
Twenty Major · January 18, 2007 at 2:27 pm
Aye, it’s a good idea to stay away from 1st gen Apple gadgets. I’ll wait till I can steal one from somewhere.,
M.C. Glammer · January 18, 2007 at 2:31 pm
I love my PC. Hate Macs. Stupisd one button rubbish. Never as powerful as a good PC. They do crash. The only reason you don’#t get many viruses for Macs is because they’re so hard to develop for, which is why you don’t get as much choice in software. A Mac developer told me that.
Plus, white cabling in AV is considered cheap.
Plus, white cabling says, “Mug me, I’ve got an Apple product on me and the word on the street is they’re more desirable, if never top of like-for-like comparison tables of MP3 players.
And what about that iPod battery issue? Pah.
Betty · January 18, 2007 at 2:47 pm
Yes but who is this “other” Cisco impostor?!
ennovate · January 18, 2007 at 3:47 pm
Fooyork – sorry, everyone doesn’t have an iPod. Haven’t got one, never wanted one.
I don’t like anything which purports to carry out the functions of many other things. Like shampoo/conditioner, washing powder/fabric conditioner, washer/dryers, fax/printer/copier combos. If I want to take photos, I’ll use my camera; to surf the internet, oh look – a computer; games? again the computer; listen to music on my stereo; watch videos on the tv. I want a phone to make and receive phone calls. Nothing more, nothing less. But can I find one, can I buggery. Why does everything have to be 2(or more) in one? Why is that a good thing?
Right, now that’s off my chest I shall get back to envying SJ his money.
VentMan · January 18, 2007 at 4:04 pm
I’ll speak up and say I’m buying the iPhone. Probably my amazement comes from my extreme HATE for my Samsung i730. Anything that runs on anything Microsoft seems fairly barbaric, but this device is especially horrid.
I can’t wait to finally have something Mac. I’m even switching carriers so I can use GSM.
snowbug · January 18, 2007 at 4:26 pm
I wonder what his facination is with ’slightly rounded and white’? Maybe b/c Jobbs is tall, skinny, all angles
Will · January 18, 2007 at 4:42 pm
Could be a good strapline for Apple.
“Apple: we take the buttons off things”
Admin comment by Mr Angry · January 18, 2007 at 5:03 pm
Twenty – Hello. Can you pick me up an Xbox 360 whilst you’re at it?
MC Glammer – People love a minority, this is why Macs are so popular.
Betty – I have no idea.
ennovate – You take two bottles into the shower? Mental…
Ventman – so you’ll buy it because it is less rubbish than your current phone? Hardly a ringing endorsement is it?
snowcrush – He probably needed more cuddles as a child.
Will – “and charge the world for it”
ella · January 18, 2007 at 5:38 pm
Hey ! – if you can love iBrator, i can love my mac (and icam) (though i suspect i might get even more pleasure from an iBrator, especially if it looks a little like a cone)
marycub · January 18, 2007 at 8:20 pm
cheeky.
jono · January 18, 2007 at 11:12 pm
Good luck with Vista.
Phoenix · January 18, 2007 at 11:37 pm
I don’t know what all the fuss is about. iStuff has been around for years. e.g iBrows, iLiner, iTalian and of course that exclusive Scottish product iAye.
There really is nothing new under the sun
Phoenix
x
Admin comment by Mr Angry · January 19, 2007 at 12:01 am
ella – a traffic cone?
marycub – that is I
Jono – It’ll be a few years before I go down that route…
Pheonix – get them on eBay (iBay?). Now.
Fooyork · January 19, 2007 at 11:01 am
Ennovate – so you hate convergance devices?
OK. So, you should have one machine to write your emails on, another one to browse the internet, one that runs nothing but MS Word, one that runs Solitaire, and another one for HSBC Internet Banking. Your washer shouldn’t dry, and your microwave shouldn’t defrost.
I’m afraid as technology moves forward, they gain more and more useful functions – however, to begin with these are not easy to use, it takes time for the technology to mature… and eventually someone does it so seamlessly that we forget that it didn’t have that feature to begin with – combination microwaves anyone?
Ooh, no, I am not from Big Brother. I am from York, so am Northern and simple. I live in London though, which is southern and scary.
piersy · January 19, 2007 at 12:07 pm
I worked for years on Macs and they crash all the time, it’s simply a part of the workflow eventually.
I’ve a sony walkman which is much better sound than an iPod.
iBrator…genius. And it’s ergonamastate OBVIOUSLY!!!
iPhone, like Babylon 5 before it is a big pile of shit.
ella · January 19, 2007 at 4:10 pm
no, mr angry, i didn’t mean a traffic cone
sorry, should have been more explicit – i forget that not everyone is obsessed about orgasms as i…
http://www.conevibrator.co.uk/?gclid=CKmv2tzu7IkCFQJpNAodbxYVKA