Because I am my favourite person, I decided to buy myself a new Television and Home Cinema system as a joint Christmas and Birthday present to myself. I really do love me.
I did the mandatory Internet research by typing, “Fucking massive LCD TV’s” into Google and reading the several thousand pages of reviews. Then, well informed and as knowledgeable as anyone can be after twenty minutes of research, I headed off to Comet.
“Hello, I would like to buy this massive TV and this home cinema system please.” I said making it very easy for the sales assistant.
“Excellent choice Sir, let’s get that sorted for you.”
“Just one quick question though. The home cinema system, it had a 15% discount for a Click and Collect deal on your website, I assume you will honour that here in the store? I didn’t want to reserve it without hearing it in action.”
“I’ll just check with the Duty Manager.”
I continued browsing massive TV’s happy that my Internet research was about to save me thirty pounds. After about five minutes my assistant returned.
“I’m afraid that is an Internet only offer, and we can’t discount more than we have done in store.”
This surprised me.
“You seem to have misunderstood. It is not an Internet deal, you don’t have to buy it on the Internet. You just need to reserve it and collect it at the store, it is exactly the same home cinema system here in-store, it is not delivered from somewhere else. Surely you can explain this to the Duty Manager for me?”
And off he went to explain this to the Duty Manager for me. A few moments later he came back not looking particularly happy.
“We can give you the 15% off if you reserve it on click to connect.”
“Yes, I know, but I didn’t do that as I explained earlier.”
“Well, if you get on-line at home, and get reservation number, we’ll give you the 15% off.”
“So you want me to drive home, waste about an hour of my time, and come back here because your system won’t allow me to get 15% off at the store?”
“I am afraid so.”
I was on the verge of leaving and taking my massive TV purchase elsewhere, when I was struck with an idea.
“Err, those laptops you have on display. Are any of them connected to the Internet?”
“The end two I think.”
And this is how I, Mr Angry, ended up under the watchful eye of the Duty Manager and Sales Assistant, using a display laptop to show them how I could get a reservation number from their own Internet site that allowed me to get my 15% in-store discount. All without leaving the shop-floor.
Sometimes I am so cunning I am in awe of myself.
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M.C. Glammer · January 4, 2007 at 8:50 am
The Darwin Awards await.
Dr J · January 4, 2007 at 9:14 am
A work of pure genius. I stand in awe. If I bring popcorn can I pop round when you fire it up?
*and beer of course*
Oli · January 4, 2007 at 9:15 am
You hav to speak to comet staff in their native language
Ie. OI, gimme the massiveeee tv wiv a knock off innit
or
fiiifffffttteeeennn ppeerrrrceenttttttt offffff
or increasingly
请过15%
S Hamilton · January 4, 2007 at 9:41 am
When I was buying a massive TV last year, I persuaded my mother-in-law to buy one three months before me, to make sure that it was actually the one I wanted, prior to me purchasing the same model.
Thankfully it was, otherwise I would have had the hassle of divorcing my wife and marrying again, to test out my second choice.
A plan I hadn’t thought all the way through.
marycub · January 4, 2007 at 9:59 am
We just bought a mahoosive plasma tv, then noticed purple blotches and green flashes! The shop wouldn’t give us our money back so we had to swap it for an LCD and downsize grr! i miss the 37 incher
Anna · January 4, 2007 at 10:23 am
You are so good Mr Angry – you have style.
Léonie · January 4, 2007 at 10:40 am
Good choice – Charmed really does look better on the big screen.
Wendz · January 4, 2007 at 10:50 am
Excellent move.
I did this with my GP last year..he needed to know which meds I’d been taking in South Africa….the brand names differ here in France…so I got him to Google it. He was in awe.
Betty · January 4, 2007 at 11:03 am
I second Leonie’s comment, but replace Charmed with Porn.
Ellie · January 4, 2007 at 11:09 am
Well done, i will have to remember that!
piersy · January 4, 2007 at 11:15 am
I love Comet. When I bought a denon system for the bedroom, the lad asked the obligatory bit about 5 year warranty for another hundred quid?!
I politely informed him that I’d owned a fair bit of Denon in the past, and none of it had conked out in less than a decade.
HAving a flash of brilliance in an attemt to salvage his warranty commission, boy wonder replies
‘Yeah but, that was in the olden days. Naadays they don’t make stuff as good as what they used to.
Riiiight, so you’re telling me the product I’m buying’s a pile of shit then?
Naaa naaa etc.
Gotta love that Croydon education system.
billyboy · January 4, 2007 at 12:08 pm
Fancy buying a fuck off tv from a shop named after Santas favourite reindeer!
Nice use of their kit though. Respect.
Equine Pimp · January 4, 2007 at 12:47 pm
In a straw poll of 10 people in my office, all of them almost wet themselves laughing at this approach.
and 3 of them would like to meet Betty.
Dr_Clip · January 4, 2007 at 12:55 pm
how close do you have to sit next to the screen to get full benefit of the Girls Allowed video?
Betty · January 4, 2007 at 1:09 pm
Just 3??
BoyOnTop · January 4, 2007 at 1:32 pm
Priceless.
Next time though, use it to show them their competitors best price. Did this to a car dealer when we bought the last Audi and the dealer nearly had a corronary. Got to sit back and listen to the shop MD shout down the line to his Audi contact about how he can get a better retail price online than the best wholesale price they give him. Made my week.
Léonie · January 4, 2007 at 2:16 pm
Charmed porn would surely be best?
Gish · January 4, 2007 at 2:34 pm
Tut tut tut! so when is the sleepover?
Admin comment by Mr Angry · January 4, 2007 at 2:46 pm
MC Glammer – Are you expecting me to kill myself?
Dr J – NO beer, January is a dry month, until I go snowboarding in a few weeks anyway…
Oli – The guy was actually pretty helpful, he just knew nothing about his companies website.
S Hamilton – In-laws are useful for all sorts of medical experimentation as well
marycub – LCD’s are big, mine is LCD and 42 inches – feel my girth!!
Anna – Thank you, feel free to use the word panache as well.
Léonie – Santa declined to bring me the box-set this xmas, sorry.
Wendz – I am quickly learning that everything, and I mean everything, is on the Internet somewhere.
Betty – I have enough size issues on a laptop screen, not sure my ego could take watching it on a 42 inch one…
Ellie – feel free to replicate as you see fit.
Piersy – They tried selling me that but I always tell them my home insurance covers me, which it doesn’t of course.
BillyBoy – Having done the research, it was the cheapest place to buy the TV I wanted, with the added bonus of only being a few miles away.
EP – You work in the quality control department at Pampers?
Dr Clip – So close you can smell them…
Betty – The rest were women
BoT – Now THAT is a good idea, car shopping this May, so will remember it for then…
Léonie – Oooo!! Where could one get THAT box-set??
Gish – Hello. That depends entirely on how fit you are (and female).
La Cubana Gringa · January 4, 2007 at 3:18 pm
Brilliant! I would have likely just used the internet on my phone to do the same thing…but kicking them in the nuts with their own equipment is even better. Cunning indeed!
Equine Pimp · January 4, 2007 at 3:32 pm
Betty – 3 wanted to meet, the other 7 suggested things that shocked my delicate ears. There are defintely some things that I do not need to know about my work colleagues
Angry – Yes, I work in quality control at Pampers and no, we don’t do them in your size
Celeste · January 4, 2007 at 3:37 pm
I believe that Comet and Currys make their own staff. From flour, water and some straw.
sooz · January 4, 2007 at 4:39 pm
Bravo Mr Angry! Did they not get the irony of the situation?
Murph · January 4, 2007 at 5:44 pm
It’s a lovely story Angry but I’m afraid it’s a work of fiction. Display Laptops connected to t’internet? Whatever next? Talking Dogs?
Admin comment by Mr Angry · January 4, 2007 at 6:13 pm
La Cubana Gringa – Internet on your phone? Are you a visitor from the future?
EP – Mansize?
Celeste – The same stuff they make their DVD players from then?
Sooz – if ‘getting it’ means a blank stare, then yes, they did.
Murph – Not a word of a lie. Ask at the next big store you are in. You’d be surprised… or at least I was.
The Girl · January 4, 2007 at 6:30 pm
I’m amazed you showed such restraint. I would have hit someone.
I really would.
Sam · January 4, 2007 at 7:07 pm
I was in Currys yesterday and used my internet phone to compare prices at Jessops. Marvellous thing, technology – but it still needs a bit of cunning to exploit it. Well done, Mr Angry – 10/10.
Admin comment by Mr Angry · January 4, 2007 at 7:33 pm
The Girl – A staff member or random fellow shopper? The police frown on that. I was only restrained because I wanted my discount…
Sam – I have never got a 10/10 before. Does this make me a swot?
clarissa · January 4, 2007 at 8:21 pm
Well, if you had a bday recently, you must be older and wiser. Good quick thinking on your feet.
marycub · January 5, 2007 at 8:29 pm
ouch your girth hurts…