Because I am my favourite person, I decided to buy myself a new Television and Home Cinema system as a joint Christmas and Birthday present to myself. I really do love me.

I did the mandatory Internet research by typing, “Fucking massive LCD TV’s” into Google and reading the several thousand pages of reviews. Then, well informed and as knowledgeable as anyone can be after twenty minutes of research, I headed off to Comet.

“Hello, I would like to buy this massive TV and this home cinema system please.” I said making it very easy for the sales assistant.

“Excellent choice Sir, let’s get that sorted for you.”

“Just one quick question though. The home cinema system, it had a 15% discount for a Click and Collect deal on your website, I assume you will honour that here in the store? I didn’t want to reserve it without hearing it in action.”

“I’ll just check with the Duty Manager.”

I continued browsing massive TV’s happy that my Internet research was about to save me thirty pounds. After about five minutes my assistant returned.

“I’m afraid that is an Internet only offer, and we can’t discount more than we have done in store.”

This surprised me.

“You seem to have misunderstood. It is not an Internet deal, you don’t have to buy it on the Internet. You just need to reserve it and collect it at the store, it is exactly the same home cinema system here in-store, it is not delivered from somewhere else. Surely you can explain this to the Duty Manager for me?”

And off he went to explain this to the Duty Manager for me. A few moments later he came back not looking particularly happy.

“We can give you the 15% off if you reserve it on click to connect.”

“Yes, I know, but I didn’t do that as I explained earlier.”

“Well, if you get on-line at home, and get reservation number, we’ll give you the 15% off.”

“So you want me to drive home, waste about an hour of my time, and come back here because your system won’t allow me to get 15% off at the store?”

“I am afraid so.”

I was on the verge of leaving and taking my massive TV purchase elsewhere, when I was struck with an idea.

“Err, those laptops you have on display. Are any of them connected to the Internet?”

“The end two I think.”

And this is how I, Mr Angry, ended up under the watchful eye of the Duty Manager and Sales Assistant, using a display laptop to show them how I could get a reservation number from their own Internet site that allowed me to get my 15% in-store discount. All without leaving the shop-floor.

Sometimes I am so cunning I am in awe of myself.

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