Wed 6 Dec 2006
So.
How many of you have received a super secret email in the last week or so offering you a gigantic 40% discount off of certain types of booze at Threshers in the run up to Christmas?
Come on, hands up.
I am guessing that it is all of you. Even the Muslims.
And still people think this is a genuine ‘mistake’ by Threshers Group that has been picked up by the Internet people to help the ‘man on the street’ get pissed more cheaply this festive period. Trust me, the man on the street doesn’t shop in Threshers, and if he did, he’d be disappointed that Purple Tin isn’t part of the ‘Special Offer’.
This whole cheat-the-system exercise is so obviously a pile of steaming turd that it makes me feel nauseous to see people fall for it. I will give Threshers one thing however, this is possibly the most effective viral marketing campaign I’ve seen this year.
Super secret discounts for those ‘in the know’? Check!
A need to ‘get in there quick’ before Threshers rescind their offers? Check!
Raft upon raft of emails circulating the super secret discount on their behalf? Check!
What’s not to love about it?
This 40% is very misleading anyway. Threshers standard offer is buy 2 get 1 free, so that is 33% right there (I did an ‘A’ Level in maths so did that in my head). This extra 7% discount barely brings them in line with the big Supermarket chains like Tesco and Asda. Yet people are still convinced they are getting a great deal.
It’s only been successful because we like the idea of getting something we’re not entitled to. It makes people feel a little bit ‘dangerous’. If that’s what you want, then I know for a fact that Dodgy Bob in the pub has a great line in DVD recorders, at better than 40% off retail prices. I don’t see people queuing up for him though. Perhaps he should send out an email?
I fully expect to see the success of this campaign lead to several other viral emails circulating special offers before the festive season finally disappears. I’ve already had one offering me a special discount at GAP.
So I’m going to start one of my own.
You can get 50% discount at Elizabeth Duke if you say, when making your purchase, “Only Cretinous Chavs and retards buy Elizabeth Duke, innit!” before December 20th.
Pass it on.
19 Responses to “Super secret discounts (nudge nudge, wink wink!)”










December 6th, 2006 at 9:14 am
You’re so angry I think you just need a big cuddle, not from me though I might catch something..I’m joking
Didn’t get one from Threshers but I heard something about it on the radio. Who is Elizabeth Duke?
December 6th, 2006 at 9:51 am
Isn’t a 40% discount 10% off a 2 for 1 offer?
Think I can let you off, cos you used the expression ‘pile of steaming turd’, which makes me happy. I shall try to use it every day this week.
December 6th, 2006 at 9:56 am
Heather - If you want to know about Elizabeth Duke just ask any passing chav where they got their sovereign ring.
Dodgy Bob - Hello! It is actually a 3 for 2 deal, which is equivalent of 33% discount off list price per bottle or 50% extra for free if you’re just buying two! I did not even need to use my fingers to do that!
December 6th, 2006 at 10:36 am
I received a voucher as an early christmas gift from a mate.
It doesn’t feel nearly so special now you’ve put it like that…
December 6th, 2006 at 10:59 am
I bet the marketing department of Threshers are well pleased, all these people thinking they are ahead of the game in Internet marketing, but the truth could be that they simply screwed up! who knows??
And why is the queen selling soverign rings?
December 6th, 2006 at 11:02 am
Bloody spammers. I didn’t get the email - not that it would have made any difference. How can these people justify the fact that in the UK they make you pay at least 30% more for your booze than we pay in France. Spain is even chaeaper and you can get a nice 1L bottle of cannabis vodka for £5.
I am going to invest the money I save on some of those top tiops I have been sent and rest on viagra and penis extensions. I have promised MrsF a great f**king christmas. Hope they all arrive in time!
December 6th, 2006 at 11:22 am
Oh, I said a silly thing. Steaming pile of turd. Thought I was being clever and irritating, but looks like I messed up.
3 for 2 I meant. It is 10% less though.
3 tins at £1 each
£2 at 3 for 2
£1.80 at 40% off
10%
(using only my thumb and my nose)
December 6th, 2006 at 11:23 am
My, a piece of spam I didn’t receive! What a thrill. Lovely piece of viral marketing though, have to remember that scam.
December 6th, 2006 at 12:43 pm
I have been sent this email about twenty billion times (approx.) (I did not do maths A-level).
I have cheerfully deleted it as many times. Now, if the Elizabeth Duke one was real I might just consider reviewing my stance. My family and friends would really benefit from some shiny golden chav-vomit this Christmas.
December 6th, 2006 at 1:26 pm
Fussy Bitch - It is the thought that counts.
Goodwin - Someone at Threshers is about to earn a nice juicy bonus overt this…
Billboy - the fact that the discount just gets it to Supermarket prices is the most galling fact of all.
Dodgy Bob - I appreciate your efforts. Unfortunately, you are doing compound discounting (taking a discount from the newly discounted price) where as I am doing absolute discounting (everything compared to the original price). We are both right. Sort of.
I am not a nerd by the way.
BoT - It is not actually ’spam’, which is why it is so ingenious. It will come from one of your friends letting you in on the secret, and they will genuinely believe they are helping you out. Clearly your friends are not stupid!
Léonie - It is real, please go and try. Then email all your friends.
December 6th, 2006 at 2:53 pm
As a frequent Threshers shopper, I can here by announce that they give you 40% discount if you buy any six bottles of wine - all year round.
Hic.
December 6th, 2006 at 5:02 pm
Makes no difference to my pocket. I still spend what I would do normally and now drink better wine.
December 6th, 2006 at 7:05 pm
The most effective viral marketing campaign since threadworms?
December 7th, 2006 at 12:15 am
The only really bad thing about this is that people are actually noticing that Threshers exists. And you are perpetuating this! Terrible, terrible news. Now I’m angry too.
Ps. I feel you coul be a touch angrier on occasion. I’m just not feeling it baby.
Pps. I’ve had eighty five money off offers in the last three days. If only I had some money to get some off of, if you know what I mean.
December 7th, 2006 at 8:55 am
Most of the sovereign rings youself arnt actually sovereign rings, however elizabeth duke do gaurentee that they will not go green for at least a fortnight!
December 7th, 2006 at 10:25 am
When I received mine I was just a bit bemused, as I’d driven past a Threshers only that afternoon which had big signs outside saying “40% off all wine!”
December 7th, 2006 at 10:48 am
Dr Clip - So it actually costs more to use the voucher (printing costs people!)
TJ - From Threshers? Get on t’interweb instead.
Murphy - Just when I was getting that image out of my mind…
Timbo - Hello! I apologise for the perpetuation of the Threshers brand. I do get very angry from time to time, but by the time I’ve got a keyboard it has subsided and manifests itself in lame jokes. Sorry.
Oli - I think it is 28 days as that is the standard Argos warranty isn’t it?
Clare - Hello! That sign is obviously Internet spam for people without the Internet. They may be evil viral marketeers but at least they do not discriminate.
December 7th, 2006 at 3:04 pm
Thresher Discount Vouchers…
Can everybody please stop sending me 75% Thresher Discount vouchers? It seems everyone I know is intent on passing me this little “under the counter number” and hasn’t twigged that they’re just part of a huge viral advertising …
December 7th, 2006 at 4:27 pm
i used to work for threshers and frankly 40% off makes the wine reasonably priced. Couple years ago when they were just about to introduce the 3 for 2 offer they hiked all the prices up about 40% to make the 3 for 2 deal seem like a good one. Fuck threshers just head on over to tescos, much more reasonably priced.