A little while ago Katy came up with the excellent concept of Road Politeness.

Though very clever, and revolutionary, I have not been able to employ it myself, as the heightened emotional state I find myself in when behind the wheel of my car precludes me from being as clever as Katy in the heat of the moment.

But, as they say, from tiny acorns do mighty oaks grow (no, this is not a reference to that one time when the Sea was really really cold), and so I have started to use this tactic when using another form of ‘transport’.

My legs!

Pedestrian politeness is the way forward, for me personally anyway, and I am here to share with you my first experience of it, in all its exhilarating glory.
I had been to the bank, and after recent experiences I decided to use the ATM on the inside. As I left the branch I saw a lady approaching the door from the other side, and so, being the chivalrous individual I am (I draw the line at putting my coat in a puddle and stuff) I opened it for her and stood aside to let her in.

She did not acknowledge me, make eye contact, or thank me for my gesture. My first impulse was to say, “You’re most welcome!” in my most cutting sarcastic tone in the hope of embarrassing her with the power only of my wit. But then Katy’s post came back to me in a flash of inspiration.

“Oh, I’m terribly sorry, please forgive me.” I said towards the somewhat startled lady.

“Excuse me?” She replied a little warily.

“You will have to accept my apologies, I am not quite sure what for, but I am nonetheless extremely sorry.”

“I’m, err, not sure I understand?”

“Oh, I mean for the way I opened the door for you. Clearly your reaction to my thoughtful gesture suggests the way I opened the door for you and stood aside to let you in, was both inappropriate and possibly rude. It would help me if you could let me know how you would like doors to be opened for you in future so that I can avoid such an unfortunate social faux pas in the future. This is how we learn.”

“Oh, it was fine, err, thanks?”

“You mean there was no issue with my door opening? Oh. In that case I feel I must apologise to you for wasting your time further. It is just that when I opened the door for you, and you ignored me completely and failed to acknowledge my gesture, I was convinced I had in some way upset or offended you. That had not been my intention, the exact opposite in fact. Please accept my most humble of apologies. Again.”

“Right, err, I was just going to pay this cheque in?”

“Gods speed!”

And with that she was gone. And so was I, basking in the glory of Pedestrian Politeness.

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