The new-fangled machine beeps loudly in a tone that shrieks “Look at me! I am new and I am fangled!”

“Place your item in the bag please.” says the nice computer lady inside the new-fangled machine to the elderly human lady in front of me in the queue.

My local Tesco has introduced some self service tills in order to speed up the buying process and to employ fewer till people. I am all in favour of introducing technology to make our lives easier, and cannot wait for hover-boards and x-ray spectacles, but in the meantime I will make do with a machine that scans your shopping. This is a good thing.

“Please scan your next item”, it continues, prompting the elderly human lady into action. Politely.

She then picks up a tin of fruit and turns it over in her hand. It appears she is reading the label and contents. She turns it over again.

“I don’t think this has a barcode on it?” she says looking at me.

I do not look like I work at Tesco so this question is clearly a cry for help. “Yes it does, it is right there on the back, look.” I add, pointing at the barcode right there on the back.

Beep.

“Please scan your next item.”

This time it is a bottle of detergent. Again she can not find the barcode. She turns it over in her hand. Then back over again.

Beep.

The clever computer registers the item. She still continues turning it over in search of the barcode. “You know, I don’t think this has a barcode either?”. I point out that it does, and it has already been scanned.

“Really? Isn’t that clever. I didn’t even show it the barcode. It has better eyesight that I do! Wonderful!”

I decide to time her. It takes her four and a half minutes to scan and pay for 12 items. Like I’ve heard said elsewhere, and I think this case proves it, if you invent some idiot-proof technology, then someone will just invent a better idiot. Plus the chances are she’ll be about 80 years old and shopping in my local supermarket.

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