Yes yes, I know, the shops have their Christmas stock up even earlier this year. Quel surprise.

I hate it too, but if there’s one thing I despise more than the fact that every retail outlet is advertising Christmas earlier every year, it is the people who feel the need to keep pointing this out to me. It is incessant.  I do have eyes you know.

“I can’t believe John Lewis have a Christmas tree up already, it’s obscene.”

Well no, actually, it’s not. It’s the price of living in a capitalist economy. It would be obscene if the tree was decorated with cocks and pictures of masturbating priests, but that’s pretty unlikely (though I haven’t shopped in Soho for a few years, so it might be the norm by now?)

What really boils my piss however, is when the people who bitch and moan about the shops stocking Christmas related goods, have actually bought something from them. Whether it be a bit of tinsel, some wrapping paper, or a great big fairy for the tree, all because “it makes it feel like Christmas, doesn’t it?”

Well, no actually, it doesn’t. It’s almost two months away, and a lot can happen in two months. In two months time you could be in prison, have grown a beard, or be dead like Saddam Hussein.

Christmas starts in mid-December, or a bit earlier if you have a chocolate advent calendar, but trust me, the shops really wouldn’t keep stocking Christmas tat from late October if you muppets didn’t keeping on buying it.

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