“Hello Broads Citroen dealership, how can I help you?”

“Hello, I’d like to speak to someone about the new C4 range please”

“Certainly Sir, if I could take your name I’ll put you through to our Sales team”

“It’s Angry, Mr. Angry”

“Just one moment”

A brief interlude of what I think might be Vivaldi’s Four Seasons. It might also be the Spice Girls, such is the sound quality.

“Hello Mr Angry, sorry to keep you waiting, my name is Simon, how can I help you?”

“Hello Simon, I am potentially interested in the new C4, but I have a few questions”

“An excellent choice, would you mind if I took a few details before we begin?”

“Actually, that can all wait, as this might not be a long conversation.”

“Oh, OK then, what is it you’d like to know?”

“Well, for a start I can’t seem to find any fuel efficiency information.”

“Right, which model were you interested in, obviously engine size is a factor.”

“The 2.0i 16V model. All 143 BHP of it.”

“Right, well, with a mixture of urban and non-urban driving that model will do 34.5 miles to the gallon.”

“Ah, good, and what stereo is included with that model?”

“Top of the range RDS radio, with CD player and it’s fully MP3 compatible, which I think is important nowadays.”

“Indeed it is Simon, indeed it is. And what is it’s safety rating?”

“It has all five stars for adult occupancy.”

“Excellent, one last question Simon, how easy is it to turn it into an ice-skating robot?”

“Err, I’m sorry?”

“The ice-skating robot. From the advert? I know adverts can sometimes be a little misleading so I was wondering how long it takes to change from a car into an ice-skating robot, you know, in real life, without the camera tricks.”

“It’s doesn’t turn into an ice-skating robot. It was just an advert.”

“Oh. Really? The ice skating one isn’t real? But I don’t want a break-dancing robot, that’s not very practical. The ice-skating one could’ve been useful as winter is drawing in now, and you never know when a cold snap will hit. What about a normal walking or running robot?”

“Are you joking?”

“Well, no. Why would I joke about that? I watched it on your advert and it said your car was Alive With Technology. I saw it with my own eyes. As far as I know, you are the only robot-car manufacturers, and I wanted one, as I was a big Transformers fan as a kid.”

Click.

Guess I’ll have to wait till I can go to work in Optimus Prime.

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