All the recent furore about the wearing (or not, as the case may be) of veils by Muslim women has left me chucking like retarded Minister at a Cabinet meeting. I can’t claim to fully understand the issues, but it has made me giggle nonetheless.

Do I think Muslim women should be allowed to wear veils? Well, yes. But only the ugly ones. No-one wants to be forced to look at the rancid mug of some hairy faced Muslim woman. The pretty ones should be forced to wear bikini’s.

It doesn’t say an awful lot for Muslim men if the women have to dress like that so as not be considered a sex object. Do they have no taste? Do they not notice any discernible difference between the lookers and the munters? I see a fat woman in a veil and I really can’t help thinking she’s wasting her time covering herself up. I wouldn’t look twice at her if she was prancing down the street in open-crotch laderhosen, so the veil is a little over the top to be honest.

I am also surprised no-one has mentioned the difficulty in understanding someone wearing a veil. What happens if you’re in a room with more than one of them? How do you know which one is talking to you and which one you should respond to? Eye contact is very important, more so when it’s the only thing you can see. This is situation fraught with potential political incorrectness, but I don’t think they would be happy put their hand up to speak. Even if they did put their hands up, surely it all sounds a bit muffled?

“I’m sorry I can’t hear what you’re saying”

If this was repeated often enough, how long would it be before the veils came down?

“Oh for fucks sake you deaf cunt, what I said was….”

Actually, are Muslim women allowed to swear? Perhaps they do it already from behind the veil, and then pretend it wasn’t them? Next time you see a veiled woman pointing at the woman next to her, it might be because of a swear word and not a fart as you would have first thought. We should be careful when making such sweeping assumptions and not be so intolerant of other peoples cultures.

I also think that if the veils are to continue, and it appears they are going to, that they should include some sort of name-tag so that I can tell them apart. They can use nicknames if they like, I don’t mind. It would just be for distinguishing between the ones I know and the ones I don’t.

Or maybe they could use coloured veils like Power Rangers?

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