I have never been particularly good with distances.
“It’s only a couple of hundred yards away” generally means it’s more likely to be half a mile or so. “A couple of miles” will invariably mean at least ten, and “I’ve really no idea” equates to a really really long way.
This is why clear road signage has always been extremely helpful to me, as I can normally perform some rudimentary calculation to figure out how far away I am from my ultimate destination.
“The last sign said 72 miles. I’ve been driving for about 15 minutes so I guess I’m only a couple of hundred yards away now.”
Nowadays you can get these helpful distance markers from other numerous sources. For example, did you know that British Airways helpfully categorises it’s destinations based on how many airmiles away they are.
Of course, I have now learned that an airmile is actually pretty similar to an Angrymile, in that it is a fairly fluid concept and bears no relation to the actual distance to be traveled.
I have tried to get a flight to New York using my airmiles, of which I have 27,072. Unfortunately I was told by the online computer that this is an insufficient number to get me to the US. Now, as we have already shown, my estimation of distances isn’t great at the best of times, but surely 27,072 miles is enough to get me to the Sun and back? In Business Class? Well no, it isn’t. New York is actually 50,000 airmiles from Heathrow, and for some bizarre reason it is 100,000 if you want to fly in Business Class (I guess they follow the scenic route).
No wonder we are so rubbish at Geography and GPS systems are so popular. Someone needs to buy British Airways a Tom Tom navigator.
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Oli · October 24, 2006 at 8:40 am
I have always avoided the airmile schemes, and nom im glad I did. I believe there was a time where an air mile was worth a mile in a plane, something like that is never going to last though!
TJ · October 24, 2006 at 9:18 am
That’s up there with Jade Goody’s comments as to why she ran the London Marathon. She had no idea how far a marathon was and had only ever run 4 miles tops. Perhaps her new PA could get her a job with BA (airline not big black dude!)
Murphy · October 24, 2006 at 9:52 am
Perhaps you’ve got “Air Miles Lite”.
And your Google Ad has produced…..
“BA Air Miles Credit Card” – presumably you can borrow the difference with it.
Admin comment by Mr Angry · October 24, 2006 at 10:03 am
Oli – I’ve not really had chance to avoid them, just accumulated them on various flights over the last couple of years.
TJ – Are you likening me to Jade Goody? You realise I will kill you to death don’t you?
Murphy – I’ve now discovered you can actually buy airmiles from BA. How disappointed you’d be to buy 5,000 and realise it doesn’t get you to Manchester.
lloyd · October 24, 2006 at 10:06 am
The problem with distances starts at youth. For the last 15 years I’ve experienced many different examples of what I have been told is 7 inches. This number of inches clearly resembles no bearing on the actual size.
Given there are 63 360 inches in an airmile there is no hope.
BoyOnTop · October 24, 2006 at 10:43 am
I once used about 5000 air miles to rent a car. It didn’t fly. I was very disappointed, my dreams of being James Bond came to naught.
f:lux · October 24, 2006 at 11:42 am
You can buy airmiles from BA? In what way is this supposed to be an advantage over, say, just booking a ticket?
And lloyd is right, inches are a whole other ball game.
TJ · October 24, 2006 at 12:59 pm
I’m hoping lloyd is a thirty something (Age that is not inches) and not a teenager!
Admin comment by Mr Angry · October 24, 2006 at 1:12 pm
TJ – You mean like Frequent Flyer Inches?
BoT – Surely that’s a trade descriptions act violation?
f:lux – exactly, it would have cost me as much to buy the extra miles I need, as to buy a ticket to New York. Ridiculous
TJ – Or a 40-something and a late bloomer?
lloyd · October 24, 2006 at 1:31 pm
For the record I’m a 30 something, and was not an abused child
Ken · October 24, 2006 at 3:54 pm
I’ve often swapped airmiles for luggage. That can fly quite a long way if you throw it hard enough.
ellie · October 24, 2006 at 7:34 pm
So, Was your walk from Paddington to Knightsbridge something like a 25 mile hike?
Admin comment by Mr Angry · October 24, 2006 at 8:10 pm
lloyd – * Stops dialling Childline *
Ken – It is clear from you and BoT that my airmiles can be used for more than just flying. Do they take them in lapdancing clubs?
ellie – oh it was as least that far. I believe the marathon is run along my route.
Ldbug · October 24, 2006 at 9:50 pm
What? That’s crazy. It’s a $500 non-stop flight! How can they tell you you haven’t covered that by flying almost 30,000 mi with them?! Arg.
If it makes you feel any better at all, for me to get home for Christmas, I need half a million airmiles, two frightening planes, and a horse a buggy. Gad, Montana is a long way from…everything.
Dr Clip · October 25, 2006 at 8:52 pm
wankers.