After my recent resounding success in the field of DIY, I have decided that now is the perfect time to take a few baby steps forward from hanging a mirror, so that I can stretch myself a little bit more. This is how we learn.
So, I have decided to convert my loft.
Now, I know that some of you may be thinking that this is akin to leaping from applying a band-aid to performing open-heart surgery, but that is just a silly metaphor, so you are wrong.
After a brief measuring session in the loft space, I went to B&Q to buy some loft insulation and floorboards to lay. I was able to avoid the seductive glare of the power-tools section, despite one very old man looking at me like he wanted to call me out on my drill-draw speed (he had a lucky escape as I’ve been practising and am very quick indeed now). I proceeded to select enough insulation and boards to fit one half of the loft, paid for it, and left to begin my second ever DIY job.
Upon my return to the flat, I again checked the measurements (they had not changed, so much for the Earths constantly changing crust). I then made plans on where to begin laying the boards, and where I would store them whilst working.
I carried the first set of boards up the ladder and into the loft, carefully stepping from one joist to the next, as I had been practising that morning. However, I had not calibrated my steps to take into account the extra weight of the boards (they are surprisingly heavy), and began to slightly lose my balance. My first ninja-like reaction was to support my balance by placing my left foot on the space between the joists. Unfortunately I don’t have a ninja brain to match my ninja instincts, and it wasn’t until my foot was through the ceiling that I was able to correct this minor miscalculation.
Luckily, I had almost fallen into my flatmate’s bedroom, so there is no hole in my ceiling. I texted him to tell him the good news, but as he is well aware of my DIY skills, he simply replied “You’re still stuck there, right?”
He thinks he is funny.
Anyway, the plasterer is coming at the weekend to rectify this minor blip, but I will not let this slight delay deter me. Next weekend I’m planning on installing the powerpoints and lighting.
What could possibly go wrong?
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Greavsie · October 20, 2006 at 7:41 am
Are you making a den up there for manly pursuits?
Lazytracy · October 20, 2006 at 8:25 am
Whats it with men and powertools?
Is it a compensation thing?
Can’t wait to here about your next diy efforts!!
TJ · October 20, 2006 at 9:19 am
Was putting a hole in the ceiling a not so subtle way of watching your flatmate when he sleeps?
I think you should have taken tips from Shallow Grave where they made lots of small holes!
Hope that helps.
Admin comment by Mr Angry · October 20, 2006 at 9:55 am
greavsie – sort of. More a place to store some of my stuff, so that I can pursue my manly pursuits all over the house.
Lazytracy – I have only recently discovered the lure of powertools. They are like my heroin.
TJ – He was out, but I will mention this to him just to freak him out a bit more.
Léonie · October 20, 2006 at 9:59 am
Ignore the hole. Go and live in your other flat with the view of the castle.
Did you have a special DIY outfit on? With some carefully-placed specks of paint in your hair? And goggles?
Admin comment by Mr Angry · October 20, 2006 at 10:09 am
Léonie – Yes, yes. For you, and all the other women out there, I wore nothing but a tool belt.
My other flat is about the re-tenantised!
Murphy · October 20, 2006 at 10:19 am
You should check out some of the popular DIY magazines.
Penthouse, Mayfair, Asian Babes etc.
Dr Clip · October 20, 2006 at 11:20 am
toolbelt, I feel sick.
I tried to put selant round my shower the other week thinking this would be “quick” job
Léonie · October 20, 2006 at 1:10 pm
I now have an image of a naked-but-for-a-toolbelt man half trapped in a ceiling.
Thanks for the laughs, Angry.
Flatmate · October 20, 2006 at 1:11 pm
TJ – thanks for bringing this to my attention.
I feel sick.
Mr A, Consider this my 2 hrs notice, I’m moving out! You can keep the blender (smoothie freak) but I’m having the scalextric
And I am funny!
El Grando · October 20, 2006 at 1:18 pm
You should try laying a new oak floor, with skirting boards on a completely uneven base with walls that do not the meaning of the word “straight”.
How about task swap? You find mates who can do what you need to do better than you can yourself, as long as you can do the same for them.
Genius??
karilyn · October 20, 2006 at 2:13 pm
use the hole in the roomie’s room to be a sky light
sooz · October 20, 2006 at 2:23 pm
I was going to offer to make you a very pretty retro-fabric tool belt *sigh* but you’ve already got one!
Have you got a Black’n'Decker workmate? Men seem to like them too.
When I first moved into my place – I weilded the drill thinking ‘ha! Easy!’ because it looks easy doesn’t it?
After doing a large out-of-control zig-zag across the wall – rather than putting up the shelves I’d hoped to do I had to call in my big bruv *sigh*
Admin comment by Mr Angry · October 20, 2006 at 2:40 pm
Murphy – I prefer specialist DIY magazines.
Dr Clip – you should have tried using sealant instead.
Léonie – it is not a funny image. It is an extremely erotic sexual image that all women will instantly commit to their ‘wank bank’.
Flatmate – so I don’t have to fix the ceiling then?
El grando – and we could call it something like, err, “Bartering”! I’m not sure it will take off.
karilyn – and explain it’s always night?
sooz – I’m not one to say no to a free gift, so go for it. I actually need a workmate, as my precarious use of a jigsaw over a loft hatch over a flight of stairs didn’t fill me with confidence.
Ldbug · October 20, 2006 at 7:03 pm
Good luck in your manly endeavors! Please, please don’t electrocute yourself as I’m quite fond of reading your blog!
Scott · October 21, 2006 at 2:07 am
“Good luck in your manly endeavors! Please, please don’t post toolbelt pics as i’m” …
ok i’ll stop copying ldbug now, I was gonna say something similar and i’m lazy so it seemed easier. Its just that fond didn’t seem like the right word to use, specially not from one chap to another, specially not from one chap to another with such a quick drill-draw!
Gun Toting Liberal · October 22, 2006 at 3:34 pm
Heh… all my DIY efforts seem to end with a professional showing up to either finish the job or fix what I broke and can’t figure out on my own. I pretty much have learned to call the experts first these days
old git · November 30, 2006 at 9:47 am
i would put the plasterer on hold if i were you……..4×2 joists wont hold your weight for long. either get them renewed or buy a batman suit cos you will surely be makin another surprise entrance into your mates bedroom!!……cant say i didnt tell ya