The law of averages suggests that someone reading this is going to able to explain something to me. Why, are DJ’s so revered in the clubbing scene?

I am utterly blind to the reasons for the adulation of people who can work an old-fashioned record player. Oh, I’m sorry, my mistake, I meant people who can work two old-fashioned record players. At the same time.

Will we now have to applaud people who can use a Betamax or ride a Penny farthing?

I’ve been in clubs when it’s “gone off” as I believe the kids say, (and no, it has nothing to do with a fire alarm, so I speak with confidence when I say that if someone shouts in your ear, “It’s going off!”, then running like a girl to the nearest Fire Exit is not the right thing to do). It was all because a DJ has put on an appropriate song, or ‘track’ as the cool kids call it.

The track is then met with whistles and smiles all round and comments like, “He’s da bomb man”, and “this is all going off!”, with the crowd on the dancefloor practically fellating the DJ like coked up porn actresses, and the women are not much better.

My attempts to point out that he has simply put on someone else’s record always seems to fall on deaf ears, though with the volume in those places that’s hardly surprising (I am not old by the way, because I know that’s what you are thinking. I am twenty eleven, which is very young in this day and age).

I can understand people blindly following a band, which is a group of people who have written their own songs and play proper musical instruments. I can almost understand the adulation afforded the people who write songs by pressing buttons on computers. What I simply cannot stand is why we worship someone who puts those records on to play.

As Robin said a few days ago, if you’re going to the cinema, you don’t make the decision on what film to see based on who the projectionist is, do you?

Apparently, a top DJ gets paid thousands of pounds for a couple of hours playing someone else’s records. Surely this at worst a theft, and at best plagiarism? Though, for a couple of grand I’d give it a go, I mean, how hard can it be?

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The law of averages suggests that someone reading this is going to able to explain something to me. Why, are DJ’s so revered in the clubbing scene?

I am utterly blind to the reasons for the adulation of people who can work an old-fashioned record player. Oh, I’m sorry, my mistake, I meant people who can work two old-fashioned record players. At the same time.

Will we now have to applaud people who can use a Betamax or ride a Penny farthing?

I’ve been in clubs when it’s “gone off” as I believe the kids say, (and no, it has nothing to do with a fire alarm, so I speak with confidence when I say that if someone shouts in your ear, “It’s going off!”, then running like a girl to the nearest Fire Exit is not the right thing to do). It was all because a DJ has put on an appropriate song, or ‘track’ as the cool kids call it.

The track is then met with whistles and smiles all round and comments like, “He’s da bomb man”, and “this is all going off!”, with the crowd on the dancefloor practically fellating the DJ like coked up porn actresses, and the women are not much better.

My attempts to point out that he has simply put on someone else’s record always seems to fall on deaf ears, though with the volume in those places that’s hardly surprising (I am not old by the way, because I know that’s what you are thinking. I am twenty eleven, which is very young in this day and age).

I can understand people blindly following a band, which is a group of people who have written their own songs and play proper musical instruments. I can almost understand the adulation afforded the people who write songs by pressing buttons on computers. What I simply cannot stand is why we worship someone who puts those records on to play.

As Robin said a few days ago, if you’re going to the cinema, you don’t make the decision on what film to see based on who the projectionist is, do you?

Apparently, a top DJ gets paid thousands of pounds for a couple of hours playing someone else’s records. Surely this at worst a theft, and at best plagiarism? Though, for a couple of grand I’d give it a go, I mean, how hard can it be?

No tags