It seems the Risk Advisory Group has been doing some research on the CV’s (that’s ‘resumés’ for our American reader) that people submit for gainful employment up and down the country. They looked at 3,700 in total and it highlighted a quite alarming statistic.

It appears, quite unbelievably, that 80% of people are telling the truth on their CV’s!

I know. It’s crazy shit.

Do these people know nothing of the ways of the world? Everyone knows that telling the truth when applying for a job is the biggest faux-pas you can make.

“Well, I spend somewhere in the region of 8 hours a week surfing the Internet, and it takes me 25 minutes to make a cup of tea, of which, I have 4 a day.”

The people who undertook this survey clearly did not pay attention to the audience. If someone has lied on their CV, how big a deal do you think it’s going to be to lie to someone about the fact that you lied? I can only conclude that the 20% of people who admitted to lying were duped into doing so, or were trying to impress their interviewer as if the subject of some elaborate tabloid sting operation. It is scenarios like this that led to the term ‘Honeytrap’ being added to the dictionary.

If a fit blond with big boobs was flirting with you, and told you she liked bad boys, then played with her hair whilst whispering, “Have you ever fibbed on your CV?”, what would you say?

Everyone lies on their CV. Even the Pope (you don’t think he mentioned Hitler youth on his application do you?). It’s all about the extent of the lie, and whether someone can disprove it.

I’ve told a few CV-based white lies in my time, the best involved a third world country, an orphanage for blind kids, and a charity called the Mr Angry Benevolence Foundation. What’s the biggest whopper you’ve told in order to secure the job of your choice?

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