I hate people that don’t listen.

I hate them more than the smug platitude quoting twats who often quote the line, “You’ve got two ears and one mouth, so use them in that proportion.” By happy coincidence I also have two fists and you have one nose, I think there might be a certain symmetry with that too.

Still, they have a point with the ears. If someone is talking to you, and they’re still talking, either in mid-sentence, or reaching the crescendo of their point, then shut the fuck up.

I have one particularly annoying colleague, who has the teeth-itchingly annoying habit of butting in. Not only to make her point, which she obviously values above all others, but also to finish off a point you’re trying to make. The bitch.

“I think we should just ask them straight out what the budget is for the project”, she’ll suggest loudly.

“I think that’s a bad idea , because..”, I’ll begin in response.

“But if we know then it’ll be easier to sell”

“Yes, but you can’t just…”

“Yes but if you don’t ask you don’t get!”

“I know that, but what I’m trying to…”

“Uh huh, yeah, OK, but how else are we going to be able to price our solution accurately”

Ad in-fucking-finitum.

I generally make my erudite and insightful points in meetings by describing why I hold a particular opinion, why I’ve reached that particular conclusion, and then, when the basis of my decision is clear, I reveal my view. This prevents people making instant decisions on my opinion without hearing how I arrived at it first.

At a recent meeting I listened to the debate about a particular sale we’re currently involved in, and then make my views known. Closing my point with, “…so you see, it’s my opinion that if you look at all of the factors involved, and at their current undocumented requirements, both short term and long term, and their vague understanding of expected outcomes, then it leads me to be of the opinion that our best course of action in trying to raise our credibility and begin a long-term customer relationship is to conduct…”

“We should do a small pilot, yes, that’s what we should do.” jumps in the Slag.

“I agree “, says the CEO.

I swear, one of these days I am going to fucking kill her.

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