I love gadgets.
If it’s new, electronic, and expensive I’ll probably buy it. Which is why I have a loft full of Betamax video’s and laserdiscs.
So I was obviously intrigued when I heard about a new piece of technology which has been designed to stop your mobile phone being stolen.
Mobile phone crime is on the increase, which is a bad thing, so anything that prevents this crime is surely a good thing, yes? Well, no actually. What this device actually does is emit a loud screaming noise and delete all of your personal information, but only once you’ve reported your phone stolen.
Now, I can see how this is going to stop my recently stolen phone from being sold on, but how, pray tell, is it going to prevent it from being stolen? I can’t imagine many phone thieves looking you up and saying,
“You know what, I wanted to sell this on, but I notice you had the foresight to invest in this innovative phone disabling technology rendering my crime worthless. Here, have your handset back. I have seen the folly of my ways. Good day.”
So in reality, what you’re actually paying £10 a month for is the privilege of knowing that if your phone gets stolen, no-one will be able to sell it on. Now, I don’t know about you, but that’s not really worth £10 a month of my money now is it? You do not get your phone back, there is in fact, no prevention at all. None. In effect, it is simply a remote controlled self-destruction tool.
I have insurance cover so that if my phone is stolen, or lost, I get a replacement, for free. What do I care if my stolen handset is resold? OK, there might be one or two incriminating photo’s on there, but I’ve been careful not to have my face in them so it’d take a team of CSI specialists to identify me. And I think they’re too busy enlisting various TV franchises across the US to be worried about some poorly-shot out of focus mobile-phone porn.
As new gadgets go, this is a pretty poor one. I’ll bet Mobile XT will be bust within a year (based on previous predictions, this might be a good time for you to buy shares in them).
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14 comments
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Oli · October 4, 2006 at 8:46 am
I think its a good idea, bu neeeds to be subsidised by the Government to take off for the very reason youve pointed out, its more a detterant, a way to stop your phone being stole is by buying my patented ‘zappamatic’ phone attachment – Gaurenteed heart attack to the thief 9 times out of 10.
Admin comment by Mr Angry · October 4, 2006 at 9:40 am
Oli – It’s funny you should mention that, I was thinking of designing a small explosive device like in Mission Impossible. The thief would only lose a couple of fingers, but would be unlikely to do it again (or play the piano)
Murphy · October 4, 2006 at 9:58 am
To open up the market segments, a lower cost £5 per month version could just make disappointed and exasperated noises in the thief’s ear.
TJ · October 4, 2006 at 10:53 am
i think phone companies should include it as standard for no extra fee.
If a thief can’t sell it on, then he (trying not to be sexist)is not going to nick it in the first place. You’d better be careful with your MP3 player, they’ll need a new target.
Dr Clip · October 4, 2006 at 12:34 pm
it’s a shit idea.
Why not just give your local mugger £10 a month not to steal it from you?
Admin comment by Mr Angry · October 4, 2006 at 1:14 pm
Murphy – Or Stelios could launch and ‘easy’ version which essentially behaves like a sullen teenager?
TJ – Are people not stealing MP3 players yet then?
Dr Clip – Why don’t you try that approach and feedback to us?
TJ · October 4, 2006 at 1:26 pm
I have just walked around Bracknell in my lunch break and conducted some extensive quantitative market research amongst a representative sample of the target audience of would be muggers. (I think Bracknell might be an over representative sample of the UK population).
You are indeed correct, after further analysis into lifestyle, age, socio economic status, shopping habits, stealing habits etc the answer to your question is ‘yes’.
Ken · October 4, 2006 at 1:41 pm
I thought nicking mobiles was way out. They’re thrown at you.
You can hardly open a cornflakes packet these days without one falling in to your milk (and South Londoners give them to their children shortly after they learn to walk…).
Banana · October 4, 2006 at 2:16 pm
aren’t you a bit too young to be part of the betamax generation?
Admin comment by Mr Angry · October 4, 2006 at 3:22 pm
TJ – You walked around Bracknell? For fun? Are you mentally unstable?
Ken – If the muggers had any sense they just teal cornflake boxes and cut out the middle ma (me).
Banana – I was given a betamax for my bedroom years ago. You are right though, I am very young and vigarous.
Oli · October 4, 2006 at 4:40 pm
Betamax? does that have anything to do with thechunky black whatsits… like dvds but shit… Videos! thats it.
Admin comment by Mr Angry · October 4, 2006 at 4:46 pm
Oli – you kids….
kaz · October 4, 2006 at 10:28 pm
I wish someone would steal my mini disc player.
Admin comment by Mr Angry · October 5, 2006 at 9:34 am
Kaz – I once bought an album in mindisc format… oh the shame…