Comments on: Online opening http://www.iamlivid.com/2006/09/21/online-opening/ Where 'net rage is all the rage... Wed, 18 May 2011 18:01:28 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Shaheen Rasool http://www.iamlivid.com/2006/09/21/online-opening/comment-page-1/#comment-10897 Shaheen Rasool Fri, 19 Jan 2007 13:05:44 +0000 http://www.iamlivid.com/2006/09/21/online-opening/#comment-10897 I want to open an account Kindly let me know the procedure I want to open an account
Kindly let me know the procedure

]]> By: Mr Angry http://www.iamlivid.com/2006/09/21/online-opening/comment-page-1/#comment-3344 Mr Angry Tue, 26 Sep 2006 08:30:30 +0000 http://www.iamlivid.com/2006/09/21/online-opening/#comment-3344 Scott - My apologies for Amy's foul language. You can take a girl out of the north... Jezebel - you are clearly over-qualified ro work for Amy's bank... Alan - Hello, perhaps someone could come on here and give us a postive Halifax story? Perhaps?... Scott – My apologies for Amy’s foul language. You can take a girl out of the north…

Jezebel – you are clearly over-qualified ro work for Amy’s bank…

Alan – Hello, perhaps someone could come on here and give us a postive Halifax story? Perhaps?…

]]> By: Alan http://www.iamlivid.com/2006/09/21/online-opening/comment-page-1/#comment-3342 Alan Tue, 26 Sep 2006 08:01:16 +0000 http://www.iamlivid.com/2006/09/21/online-opening/#comment-3342 Oh, and <a href="http://www.dailypropaganda.co.uk/2006/04/nationwide_utter_twts.html" rel="nofollow">nationwide </a> aren't much better. Oh, and nationwide aren’t much better.

]]> By: Alan http://www.iamlivid.com/2006/09/21/online-opening/comment-page-1/#comment-3341 Alan Tue, 26 Sep 2006 07:59:37 +0000 http://www.iamlivid.com/2006/09/21/online-opening/#comment-3341 I have had similar problems with the Halifax useless call monkeys. I don't bank with them any more. I had in total 8 accounts spanning all the business sectors (current and savings account, mortgage, credit card, insurance, shares) and they are all gone but the savings account - which I keep 1 quid in, as it costs them more to keep the account open every year than there is in it. I wrote them a <a href="http://www.dailypropaganda.co.uk/2005/04/i_hate_hbos.html" rel="nofollow">letter</a> a few years ago, warning them of this. They did not reply to my satisfaction. I have had similar problems with the Halifax useless call monkeys. I don’t bank with them any more. I had in total 8 accounts spanning all the business sectors (current and savings account, mortgage, credit card, insurance, shares) and they are all gone but the savings account – which I keep 1 quid in, as it costs them more to keep the account open every year than there is in it.

I wrote them a letter a few years ago, warning them of this. They did not reply to my satisfaction.

]]> By: jezebelsriot http://www.iamlivid.com/2006/09/21/online-opening/comment-page-1/#comment-3269 jezebelsriot Fri, 22 Sep 2006 13:58:46 +0000 http://www.iamlivid.com/2006/09/21/online-opening/#comment-3269 Seems you've met your enemy. I just posted all of the things that annoyed me about financial customers. http://jezebelsriot.blogspot.com/2006/09/some-things-ive-learned-in-customer.html Enjoyed the rant. Looks we're all pretty damn frustrated. Seems you’ve met your enemy. I just posted all of the things that annoyed me about financial customers.

http://jezebelsriot.blogspot.com/2006/09/some-things-ive-learned-in-customer.html

Enjoyed the rant. Looks we’re all pretty damn frustrated.

]]> By: Scott http://www.iamlivid.com/2006/09/21/online-opening/comment-page-1/#comment-3256 Scott Thu, 21 Sep 2006 23:17:55 +0000 http://www.iamlivid.com/2006/09/21/online-opening/#comment-3256 I've rarely seen cunt written so many times in one comments box - seems you hit a nerve Amy. Just to do my bit, HSBC (I hope that c stands for cunts but doubt it) stopped my credit card just after last xmas, cancelled my overdraft with no warning, and then started slapping on daily interest knowing full well I had nothing to pay them off with because they'd bloody stopped it all. I wouldn't mind if I was in really deep shit financially but it was a measly couple of grand... for a student thats not bad. I blew the last tenner I had on a pizza and decided to worry about it all the next day, thats when I had to get through the ID stage without owning a driving licence or passport, and with all the utilities in my flatmate's name... a joyous experience... the cunts!! Anyway, now I've got that off my chest, why are there so many ladies up North called Amy? Seems to be tons of the buggers! I’ve rarely seen cunt written so many times in one comments box – seems you hit a nerve Amy.
Just to do my bit, HSBC (I hope that c stands for cunts but doubt it) stopped my credit card just after last xmas, cancelled my overdraft with no warning, and then started slapping on daily interest knowing full well I had nothing to pay them off with because they’d bloody stopped it all. I wouldn’t mind if I was in really deep shit financially but it was a measly couple of grand… for a student thats not bad.
I blew the last tenner I had on a pizza and decided to worry about it all the next day, thats when I had to get through the ID stage without owning a driving licence or passport, and with all the utilities in my flatmate’s name… a joyous experience… the cunts!!
Anyway, now I’ve got that off my chest, why are there so many ladies up North called Amy? Seems to be tons of the buggers!

]]> By: Amy http://www.iamlivid.com/2006/09/21/online-opening/comment-page-1/#comment-3254 Amy Thu, 21 Sep 2006 20:03:28 +0000 http://www.iamlivid.com/2006/09/21/online-opening/#comment-3254 Angry - I'm in charge until you get back tomorrow night. Just think yourself lucky I haven't made any unwanted additions to the site. Lloyd - apparently you can say cunt as many times as you like here! Dr Clip - mine beats that... Angry – I’m in charge until you get back tomorrow night. Just think yourself lucky I haven’t made any unwanted additions to the site.

Lloyd – apparently you can say cunt as many times as you like here!

Dr Clip – mine beats that…

]]> By: lloyd http://www.iamlivid.com/2006/09/21/online-opening/comment-page-1/#comment-3253 lloyd Thu, 21 Sep 2006 19:16:06 +0000 http://www.iamlivid.com/2006/09/21/online-opening/#comment-3253 Dr clip it was cunting LLOYDS TSB who asked me those cunting security questions. How the hell am I meant to get into my account when I stopped my cunting statements. CUNTS Amy I'm usually more polite please dont ban me for obscene language ;) Dr clip it was cunting LLOYDS TSB who asked me those cunting security questions. How the hell am I meant to get into my account when I stopped my cunting statements. CUNTS

Amy I’m usually more polite please dont ban me for obscene language ;)

]]> By: Mr Angry http://www.iamlivid.com/2006/09/21/online-opening/comment-page-1/#comment-3252 Mr Angry Thu, 21 Sep 2006 18:26:10 +0000 http://www.iamlivid.com/2006/09/21/online-opening/#comment-3252 Amy - Will you please stop giving these people such full and personal responses, they will expect it from me. I am writing this on a mans laptop in the hotel bar, I asked to borrow it to check the train times. I am so cunning! Amy – Will you please stop giving these people such full and personal responses, they will expect it from me.

I am writing this on a mans laptop in the hotel bar, I asked to borrow it to check the train times. I am so cunning!

]]> By: Dr Clip http://www.iamlivid.com/2006/09/21/online-opening/comment-page-1/#comment-3249 Dr Clip Thu, 21 Sep 2006 15:18:10 +0000 http://www.iamlivid.com/2006/09/21/online-opening/#comment-3249 oh yeah - this was the best..... LLoyds Bank (cunts):"For security reasons, please tell me when you received you last statement" Me: "Hmmmmm, about a month ago?" LLoyds Bank (cunts):"Wrong, we sent you one last week, security failed" Me: Yeah, but I havent received it, so how could I possibly know you have sent it? LLoyds Bank (cunts):"But here it is saying it has been sent, so unfortunately you have failed the test" Me: (sigh) yeah, you may have sent it, but I have not got it, so unless you call every customer saying their statement is on its way, I have no way of knowing you have sent it" LIVID! Basically the bank are cunts and sometimes I wonder if I may have more money if I kept it under my mattress. oh yeah – this was the best…..

LLoyds Bank (cunts):”For security reasons, please tell me when you received you last statement”

Me: “Hmmmmm, about a month ago?”

LLoyds Bank (cunts):”Wrong, we sent you one last week, security failed”

Me: Yeah, but I havent received it, so how could I possibly know you have sent it?

LLoyds Bank (cunts):”But here it is saying it has been sent, so unfortunately you have failed the test”

Me: (sigh) yeah, you may have sent it, but I have not got it, so unless you call every customer saying their statement is on its way, I have no way of knowing you have sent it”

LIVID!

Basically the bank are cunts and sometimes I wonder if I may have more money if I kept it under my mattress.

]]> By: Amy http://www.iamlivid.com/2006/09/21/online-opening/comment-page-1/#comment-3248 Amy Thu, 21 Sep 2006 13:56:11 +0000 http://www.iamlivid.com/2006/09/21/online-opening/#comment-3248 Lloyd - wait until tomorrow. You haven't heard anything yet! Lloyd – wait until tomorrow. You haven’t heard anything yet!

]]> By: Equine Pimp http://www.iamlivid.com/2006/09/21/online-opening/comment-page-1/#comment-3247 Equine Pimp Thu, 21 Sep 2006 13:55:11 +0000 http://www.iamlivid.com/2006/09/21/online-opening/#comment-3247 Just by chance I have just received the new forms for face to face and non-face to face customer identification records (yes I do realise how exciting this makes my life sound). You need one from list 1 and 1 from list 2, there is an impersonation check and it must include the Account opener and four eye checker details (no idea what this is) Some questions arose as a result Is an instrument of a court appearance when you take a guitar with you? Apparently a Switzerland national identity card is good. Any clues on why just Switzerland? Does the impersonation have to be of John Culshaw standard or will a feeble Tommy Cooper attempt be good enough? Just by chance I have just received the new forms for face to face and non-face to face customer identification records (yes I do realise how exciting this makes my life sound).

You need one from list 1 and 1 from list 2, there is an impersonation check and it must include the Account opener and four eye checker details (no idea what this is)

Some questions arose as a result
Is an instrument of a court appearance when you take a guitar with you? Apparently a Switzerland national identity card is good. Any clues on why just Switzerland? Does the impersonation have to be of John Culshaw standard or will a feeble Tommy Cooper attempt be good enough?

]]> By: Amy http://www.iamlivid.com/2006/09/21/online-opening/comment-page-1/#comment-3246 Amy Thu, 21 Sep 2006 13:20:22 +0000 http://www.iamlivid.com/2006/09/21/online-opening/#comment-3246 Oli - I tried to change the graphics to flowers and kittens, but apparently Angry has ways of stopping me from doing that ;-) Oli – I tried to change the graphics to flowers and kittens, but apparently Angry has ways of stopping me from doing that ;-)

]]> By: lloyd http://www.iamlivid.com/2006/09/21/online-opening/comment-page-1/#comment-3245 lloyd Thu, 21 Sep 2006 13:19:52 +0000 http://www.iamlivid.com/2006/09/21/online-opening/#comment-3245 'Just a couple of security questions' 'Please can you confirm how much you spent in Tescos on Tues 5th Sept' 'I'm not sure' 'Mmm. Okay, please can confirm how much you spent in Liquid night club on Sat 9th Sept' 'I don't have a f**kg clue' 'Sorry, we are unable to gain access to your account without this information' WHAT ‘Just a couple of security questions’

‘Please can you confirm how much you spent in Tescos on Tues 5th Sept’

‘I’m not sure’

‘Mmm. Okay, please can confirm how much you spent in Liquid night club on Sat 9th Sept’

‘I don’t have a f**kg clue’

‘Sorry, we are unable to gain access to your account without this information’

WHAT

]]> By: Oli http://www.iamlivid.com/2006/09/21/online-opening/comment-page-1/#comment-3244 Oli Thu, 21 Sep 2006 12:38:40 +0000 http://www.iamlivid.com/2006/09/21/online-opening/#comment-3244 PS. was it you that broke the site this morning? =O PS. was it you that broke the site this morning? =O

]]> By: Oli http://www.iamlivid.com/2006/09/21/online-opening/comment-page-1/#comment-3243 Oli Thu, 21 Sep 2006 12:35:21 +0000 http://www.iamlivid.com/2006/09/21/online-opening/#comment-3243 "5′7″, blue eyes, brunette" = rawr But yeah anyway, glad your not a southerner and I have to agree that Mr A's posts have been less than livid over the past week. Try the yorkshire bank, they too have very poor online banking but i think they will give you a better interest rate! “5′7″, blue eyes, brunette” = rawr

But yeah anyway, glad your not a southerner and I have to agree that Mr A’s posts have been less than livid over the past week.

Try the yorkshire bank, they too have very poor online banking but i think they will give you a better interest rate!

]]> By: Amy http://www.iamlivid.com/2006/09/21/online-opening/comment-page-1/#comment-3242 Amy Thu, 21 Sep 2006 11:49:40 +0000 http://www.iamlivid.com/2006/09/21/online-opening/#comment-3242 EP - I am very special, not in a window licker way though...The retail banking industry in this country is stuck in the last century. Three days to transfer money from one account to another. If you do it in Australia it's the same day. All so the wankers can make money out of either the interest or the fee for instant transfer. Livid. Dr J - You have my sympathy. And yes, it's a good job organised crime gangs haven't managed to produce credible fake id yet. Mind you, they don't need to. You read about that bloke that got on a plane the other day with his three year old daughter's passport? WTF... Dr Clip - Here here. Why only the other day I was explaining to Ranjeet the error of his ways. "I beg to differ, but a Bankers Draft is NOT the same as a cheque." You can guess where that got me. EP – I am very special, not in a window licker way though…The retail banking industry in this country is stuck in the last century. Three days to transfer money from one account to another. If you do it in Australia it’s the same day. All so the wankers can make money out of either the interest or the fee for instant transfer. Livid.

Dr J – You have my sympathy. And yes, it’s a good job organised crime gangs haven’t managed to produce credible fake id yet. Mind you, they don’t need to. You read about that bloke that got on a plane the other day with his three year old daughter’s passport? WTF…

Dr Clip – Here here. Why only the other day I was explaining to Ranjeet the error of his ways. “I beg to differ, but a Bankers Draft is NOT the same as a cheque.” You can guess where that got me.

]]> By: Dr Clip http://www.iamlivid.com/2006/09/21/online-opening/comment-page-1/#comment-3241 Dr Clip Thu, 21 Sep 2006 11:14:01 +0000 http://www.iamlivid.com/2006/09/21/online-opening/#comment-3241 Just for a laugh once I went down a line of questioning how they calculated interest on a loan, despite numerous calls to colleagues, they couldnt tell me. Wankers! And offshoring. Dont start me...... After a conversion with Ranjeet over a lost card, he helpfully sent me a "solo" card instead of my normal, ahem, gold card. Solo, what the fuck is that, and just before Christmas, it wouldnt even let me buy gift wrap from Clintons. Wankers. Just for a laugh once I went down a line of questioning how they calculated interest on a loan, despite numerous calls to colleagues, they couldnt tell me. Wankers!

And offshoring. Dont start me…… After a conversion with Ranjeet over a lost card, he helpfully sent me a “solo” card instead of my normal, ahem, gold card. Solo, what the fuck is that, and just before Christmas, it wouldnt even let me buy gift wrap from Clintons. Wankers.

]]> By: Dr J http://www.iamlivid.com/2006/09/21/online-opening/comment-page-1/#comment-3240 Dr J Thu, 21 Sep 2006 11:10:43 +0000 http://www.iamlivid.com/2006/09/21/online-opening/#comment-3240 Hello Amy. What EP said. Also I'm sensing this will end in tears, yours most likely, theirs I'm hoping. We've just bought a new house and had a Partner retire from the surgery within the past 3 months. This has meant a new mortgage (Proof of ID required), change of Practice bank account (PoIDR), appointment of a solicitor to draft our new practice agreement (Yep, you guessed it) and at least two ther finance rlated steps I forget with the same requirements. Given that we have not changed our mortgage lender, the practice bank or our names, dates of birth or genders in the past umpteen years, quite why remains a mystery. For a while I was left wondering if I would ever see my passport again. It has now travelled more miles than I have by a comfortable margin. Still at least we can all sleep safe in our beds. After all it's well known that Mafia types and Terrorists are incapable of generating credible fake ID isn't it? Keep up the good work BTW. Angry has been going decidedly soft of late, even talking like an (admittedly potty mouthed) three year old. Well done for elevating the tone. Hello Amy.

What EP said.

Also I’m sensing this will end in tears, yours most likely, theirs I’m hoping. We’ve just bought a new house and had a Partner retire from the surgery within the past 3 months. This has meant a new mortgage (Proof of ID required), change of Practice bank account (PoIDR), appointment of a solicitor to draft our new practice agreement (Yep, you guessed it) and at least two ther finance rlated steps I forget with the same requirements. Given that we have not changed our mortgage lender, the practice bank or our names, dates of birth or genders in the past umpteen years, quite why remains a mystery.

For a while I was left wondering if I would ever see my passport again. It has now travelled more miles than I have by a comfortable margin. Still at least we can all sleep safe in our beds. After all it’s well known that Mafia types and Terrorists are incapable of generating credible fake ID isn’t it?

Keep up the good work BTW. Angry has been going decidedly soft of late, even talking like an (admittedly potty mouthed) three year old. Well done for elevating the tone.

]]> By: Equine Pimp http://www.iamlivid.com/2006/09/21/online-opening/comment-page-1/#comment-3239 Equine Pimp Thu, 21 Sep 2006 10:19:45 +0000 http://www.iamlivid.com/2006/09/21/online-opening/#comment-3239 Hello Amy. Angry doesn't seem the type to be that close to anyone that he is willing to share his site. You must be very special. I work for a bank - you are just scratching the surface and you are experiencing the jobsworth world of minions. If you think it can't get worse, try taking 6 bags of change to a cashier instead of 5. It's the banking version of going to a basket only till with 8 items in a trolley. Hello Amy. Angry doesn’t seem the type to be that close to anyone that he is willing to share his site. You must be very special.

I work for a bank – you are just scratching the surface and you are experiencing the jobsworth world of minions. If you think it can’t get worse, try taking 6 bags of change to a cashier instead of 5.

It’s the banking version of going to a basket only till with 8 items in a trolley.

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