I am fast becoming good enough at Do It Yourself (DIY to those of us ‘in the know’) to be considered an Absolute Novice. I think with a little more practise I may graduate to Beginner.

This week I have attempted to put up a mirror. A very big, very heavy mirror. In a very big and very heavy brushed steel frame. This meant drilling and securing proper brackets to the wall before hanging it.

I felt as confident in undertaking this task as I would disarming a nuclear weapon. Despite how easy Tom Cruise makes it look.

For my first mirror-hanging exercise, I even bought a power drill. This is a great experience for any man.

Whilst at the DIY superstore, I carefully considered the assorted power tools before me and then proceed to pick the one I felt most comfortable performing the “quick-draw” with. You never know when you’ll get challenged to a drill-duel, probably at dawn. Well, I am now very well prepared for this eventuality, more so than most of you reading this, I’ll bet. It also drills holes of assorted size into walls and other stuff.

In a classic extension sell on the part of the DIY giant, I was then coerced (by a very persuasive, very bright, and very shiny inanimate sign) into buying an additional assortment of drill-bits, 24 to be precise. 24 is a lot of bits. I think.

OK, in my Absolute Novice opinion, 24 sounds like a lot of bits.

So, armed with a new quick-draw-friendly power tool, a selection of 24 drill bits of assorted sizes, and a steely determination, can someone explain to me how I cannot find a drill bit of the correct size for the raw-plug needed for my new mirrors industrial strength brackets?

This is why someone needs to invent super strength cello-tape.