I am flying again tomorrow. I am off to Portugal for a week, and will be relying on British Airways baggage handling systems for the first time since I went to Edinburgh. Though it was obviously a bit of a shambles, the terror alert, whilst annoying, was hardly terrifying now was it?
I’ll admit that being in an extended security queue at Heathrow next to Jade Goody’s ugly sister was highly disconcerting, but terrifying? Nah. I don’t think so.
It might appear from reading my Edinburgh posts that my weekend was ruined, but in reality, I had an excellent time and not worrying too much about shaving, bathing or changing my clothes very often gave me an insight to what it must be like to be a Boomtown Rat or a Slough-based minicab driver.
The most terrifying effect of the chaos, personally speaking, was having to get back into my boxer shorts after showering on the Sunday morning. I still shiver to think about it.
For that reason, I think we should now rename these so-called ‘terrorists’, and try to give them a more appropriate title, something like “Disruptists”. For in essence, this is what they are. They add a bit of time to your journey. They stop you listening to your iPod on the flight. They might even stop you finishing a book you’re engrossed in. They force you to buy a temporary toothbrush and a new t-shirt and pair of jeans. They make you live without your mobile for a few days. But one thing they don’t seem to be doing, is causing much actual terror.
I would imagine that Osama and his chums would be quite disappointed to learn that their threat has been downgraded from Terrorist to Disruptist. Or maybe I’m not in-tune with his agenda, and actually, he’s been quite delighted?
“Ha! Those western infidels have been in the same underpants for 48 hours! Praise be to Allah!”
I see the lack of terror as a small victory for the free West. Plus, if the US could then declare a War on Disruption, then maybe they can do something about the shambolic roadworks on the M40.
See you all in a week. Play nice while I’m away.
No tags
Banana · September 1, 2006 at 9:04 am
No posts from you for a week!!! No!!!
I’ve become Mr Angry!!!
There are plenty of wifi hotspots and cybercafes in Portugal.
Banana · September 1, 2006 at 9:04 am
No posts from you for a week!!! No!!!
I’ve become Mr Angry!!!
There are plenty of wifi hotspots and cybercafes in Portugal.
Banana · September 1, 2006 at 9:04 am
No posts from you for a week!!! No!!!
I’ve become Mr Angry!!!
There are plenty of wifi hotspots and cybercafes in Portugal.
Murphy · September 1, 2006 at 9:17 am
We heard you the first time, banana! Keep your skin on!
Murphy · September 1, 2006 at 9:23 am
Mr Angry : I can’t believe that one of the ads Google has worked out for this post is for vacancies at MI5. Maybe your cunning take on Terrierists and Osama has made them think you are their main man! Get your cv in when you get back from Faro … but remember the old pie trade saying “walls have ears”.
Admin comment by Mr Angry · September 1, 2006 at 9:45 am
Banana – I will try and pop in from time to time next week, obviously, but no promises. I am not sure the Internet has reached Portugal yet.
Murphy – I would make a good spook.
f:lux · September 1, 2006 at 11:36 am
I really don’t understand why they haven’t caught bin Laden yet. All they have to do is stake Whitney Houston out in a poppy field/opium den somewhere in Afghanistan, and wait.
BoyOnTop · September 1, 2006 at 5:13 pm
My wife was convinced it was a plot to really piss off women who had to take “sanitary” items around in plastic bags.
Have a good week.
TomH · September 2, 2006 at 1:13 pm
Hey.
Long time reader.
Loving the post today.
I feel the only upside to the reduced baggage on planes, is that it means more time for Trolley Tart Baiting.
That is all.
Tom H.
Badger · September 3, 2006 at 12:53 pm
TomH – Is that like bear baiting, but with pastry?
B.
Oli · September 4, 2006 at 4:40 pm
Guess what angry, while surfing the dilbert blog yesterday I came upon the following comment.
“Rude is having a web site that has aggressive pop-up and pop-under ads. I have nothing against advertising but I do have a problem with obnoxious ads that hijack my browser behaviour. Honestly Scott, don’t you feel embarrassed by this? I can’t believe you don’t have the power to stop this from happening. Which leaves me with the impression (false or not) that you either actively agree with this approach or passively allow the abuse of your readers.
Posted by: Mr Angry | September 03, 2006 at 04:01 PM ”
i was surprised to see that this wasnt actually you, but http://angryaussie.wordpress.com/
This geezer claims to be Mr Angry, but the Original Mr Angry, despite coming onto the scene several months after you, I suggest you put him in his place.
Murphy · September 5, 2006 at 9:59 am
What do we call all these Mr Angrys then? A Ferment? A Cauldron?
There’s only one way to sort this out!
….FIGHT!!!!!
Oli · September 5, 2006 at 10:29 am
Should have read
“This geezer claims not only to be the Mr Angry, but the Original Mr Angry, despite coming onto the scene several months after you, I suggest you put him in his place. ”
I shouldnt be allowed near a computer.
lloyd · September 5, 2006 at 9:51 pm
Angry get your ass into a wifi and get posting
Mr Angry · September 6, 2006 at 3:24 pm
Hehehehehe. But I’ve been Mr Angry long before I had a blog. Actually, it’s an old marketing ploy, call something “the original” and it tends to make people think it’s better. Truth doesn’t come into it. And you picked the wrong time to “out” me – you should have told your Mr Angry when he wasn’t on holidays!
Oli · September 6, 2006 at 3:45 pm
We were hoping for internet cafe updates, obiously we arnt important enough for that though, hence why im flying out in a weeks time with a load of c4 shoved up my anus, preventing him from taking any electronics, paper or plastic onto the plane mwoahahahaha
Oli · September 6, 2006 at 3:46 pm
scratch that, the tight fuckers only gone on holiday for a week, gonna have to up my insertion schedule for friday.
*Grunt*
Ldbug · September 6, 2006 at 7:12 pm
Ha, good term, I truely agree with it. I just got back from a long weekend flying to Montana (about 7 to 8 hours air time from NY) and the three things I packed in my pockets: a clean pair of underwear, a mini toothbrush, a contact case.
I’m pissed about not being able to carry on anything anymore, waited 1 long, long hour for my one bag containing the forbidden shampoo last night, ugh, damn disruptists
Ldbug · September 7, 2006 at 11:02 pm
Ok, so technically, you should be back? Midnight in UK, right (it’s 6pm here in NY)? My boss just left for a month in London, lucky girl, I’m stuck here, blogging instead of working…wait…what the hell..why am I still pretending to work………
(P.S. miss your blog during the long, boring hours of the day!!)
Badger · September 8, 2006 at 2:46 pm
Even if Angry is back, there’s still the post-trip hangover to nurse for 3 days…
B.
Oli · September 8, 2006 at 3:14 pm
He should have thought of that before starting a blog, we demand posts.
Murphy · September 8, 2006 at 5:50 pm
Yes. Tha bastard is sitting on his arse on a sun lounger being serene and relaxed.
I mean, what’s the point of that?!
He deserves to be usrped by the Angy Aussie tribute act, like Gordon Brown taking over from that annoying little public school tosser whatever his name is.
Admin comment by Mr Angry · September 9, 2006 at 6:23 pm
All – I am back.
The Badger is right. I am nursing a 7 day drinking hangover. I am, however, somewhat confused by the appearance of another Mr. Angry, but as the person looking back at me from the mirror at the moment is nothing like who I was a week ago, a third Mr. Angry is not particularly surprising to me.
* Cue several “I’m Sparticus” style comments about being the real Mr. Angry *
You may get something sensible from me on Monday, but do not hold your breath. In due course I will tell you about my adventures with Portugeuse hoteliers, changing money (from Euro’s to Euro’s), and other riveting episodes from the last week.
Badger · September 9, 2006 at 11:43 pm
I knew it! Just drink LOTS of water, avoid sugar and avoid caffeine for a bit. You’ll be alright in no time.
(Coming from someone who, despite heavy bouts of drinking, has only ever had 1 hangover so far…)
B.
Ldbug · September 10, 2006 at 7:15 am
Yay!! you’re back!
No need to make much sense, not like any of us do at any sober time of the day…or night…or