I am flying again tomorrow. I am off to Portugal for a week, and will be relying on British Airways baggage handling systems for the first time since I went to Edinburgh. Though it was obviously a bit of a shambles, the terror alert, whilst annoying, was hardly terrifying now was it?

I’ll admit that being in an extended security queue at Heathrow next to Jade Goody’s ugly sister was highly disconcerting, but terrifying? Nah. I don’t think so.

It might appear from reading my Edinburgh posts that my weekend was ruined, but in reality, I had an excellent time and not worrying too much about shaving, bathing or changing my clothes very often gave me an insight to what it must be like to be a Boomtown Rat or a Slough-based minicab driver.

The most terrifying effect of the chaos, personally speaking, was having to get back into my boxer shorts after showering on the Sunday morning. I still shiver to think about it.

For that reason, I think we should now rename these so-called ‘terrorists’, and try to give them a more appropriate title, something like “Disruptists”. For in essence, this is what they are. They add a bit of time to your journey. They stop you listening to your iPod on the flight. They might even stop you finishing a book you’re engrossed in. They force you to buy a temporary toothbrush and a new t-shirt and pair of jeans. They make you live without your mobile for a few days. But one thing they don’t seem to be doing, is causing much actual terror.

I would imagine that Osama and his chums would be quite disappointed to learn that their threat has been downgraded from Terrorist to Disruptist. Or maybe I’m not in-tune with his agenda, and actually, he’s been quite delighted?

“Ha! Those western infidels have been in the same underpants for 48 hours! Praise be to Allah!”

I see the lack of terror as a small victory for the free West. Plus, if the US could then declare a War on Disruption, then maybe they can do something about the shambolic roadworks on the M40.

See you all in a week. Play nice while I’m away.

No tags