It is good to praise people for a job well done. Accomplishments should be applauded, and people that show total commitment to the task at hand deserve any recognition they receive.
“Please join me in wishing Debbie every success in the future as she transfers into our Consulting division at the end of this week” read the email.
“She has been instrumental to our success in the last 2 years and has never given less than 200% effort throughout her time as part of our team.”
In isolation this looks like a nice thing to say about someone who is leaving your team after working with you for a couple of years. However, when put it in the context of last weeks email about the success of Project X, then you realise it was a deliberate slight on the character of the remaining team members.
“I would like to congratulate the project team for the outstanding success of Project X. Each and every one of you has contributed 110% effort to bring about such a succesful outcome for the client. I congratulate you all.”
Clearly the Boss was actually calling the Project team a bunch of fucking work-shy slackers that are at least 90% short of Debbies level. I’m sure he is ruefully wondering what a team full of Debbies could have achieved.
All that said, and Debbies ego suitably stroked, Christ knows how she is going to react when I send out this afternoons memo thanking the temp we’ve had in for her 300% effort in looking after the post this week.
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Badger · August 24, 2006 at 9:31 am
Punch her in the face.
B.
Shamash · August 24, 2006 at 9:45 am
What is it with 110%, 200% etc. Is it just to make those who think they’ve done their best within possible fractions feel upset?
Murphy · August 24, 2006 at 9:48 am
Maybe he meant 110% of sheer excellence last week and 200% of lethargic indolence in Debbie’s case. He should spend his time thinking of a better name for than “X”
US · August 24, 2006 at 10:13 am
Project X sounds very Mulder & Scully – is there something you haven’t been telling us?
Admin comment by Mr Angry · August 24, 2006 at 10:24 am
Badger – Who? Debbie or the temp? The temp is very fit so I don’t think that’s a good idea.
Shamash – I blame decimilisation. It was much better when people gave elevent tenths effort.
Murphy – I have no idea what he actually meant.
US – It was actually called, “The (something) Project”, but if I used it’s real name, you’d know what project it was, who I worked for, and maybe work out who I am. As I’ve said in the past, this cannot be allowed to happen…
Banana · August 24, 2006 at 10:45 am
Mr Angry
I think I’m in love with you.
ellie · August 24, 2006 at 10:49 am
Oh, Mr. Angry, another one in the harem (Banana). You are a playa’. *Swoon*
Ranting Dullard · August 24, 2006 at 12:15 pm
I hate those fucking emails. I get literally under 10 a week.
Congrats to this cunt
Some fucker you’ve never heard of thanking everyone for their support.
I feel so tempted to send an email to everyone in the primary care trust saying ‘you are a lazy cunt and I fucking hate you’.
Ahhhh
better now.
Badger · August 24, 2006 at 12:26 pm
Angry – Debbie. Smash her face in for being an arse cleaner with a tastebud squeegee.
200% my arse. Have a look at her knees to see how red they are…
B.
Sooz · August 24, 2006 at 12:41 pm
Aarghhh! The 100% overspend does my head in!
It’s like saying ‘h’ Haitch grrr! *twitch*
Admin comment by Mr Angry · August 24, 2006 at 12:48 pm
Banana – You’ll get over it
Ellie – I don’t understant it, are you rounding them up off the Internet and bringing them here?
RD – I might go as far as describing someones efforts as “frankly quite disappointing” next time. Not sure I culd get away with calling the staff ‘cunts’. Much as I’d like to.
Badger – She has tights on, if I ask her to take them off so I can see her knees HR will be all over me (and not in a good way)
Sooz – You’re 110% correct!
greavsie · August 24, 2006 at 1:04 pm
Does everyone who loves Mr A love him 100% or 110%?
ellie · August 24, 2006 at 1:43 pm
Mr. Angry is loved 238%.
He is like the Colonel’s secret recipe: finger licking good. *Reaches for a napkin*
Admin comment by Mr Angry · August 24, 2006 at 2:23 pm
greavsie – please don’t encourage them…
ellie – 238%?! Is that all?!?