I got to the gym reasonably regularly.
Even though this site does wonders for my stress levels, the body still needs its own release as well, and the gym is where I find it. It allows to me to keep my rippling one-pack in place.
I don’t particularly enjoy it, I would rather stay fit by sitting in front of the TV eating pizza and ice-cream, but the laws of genetics have conspired to make this nigh on impossible. So going to the gym a few times a week is what I do.
A couple of weeks ago a new sign appeared in the male changing rooms, and I have to admit it has made me more than a little uncomfortable in my surroundings. The sign reads:
“No girls over the age of 7 are allowed in the male changing rooms”
If you take this sign at face value, then there is nothing sinister in it, but clearly what it is actually saying is it’s perfectly acceptable to bring 6 year old girls into the changing rooms. It does not even say that you have to be related to them! I am now convinced I have accidentally joined a paedophile gym.
I’ll admit, I have not yet seen any 6 year old girls in the gym, but I read enough newspapers to know that paedo’s are cunning folk, and are unlikely to be flaunting their dispicableness in plain sight of normal gym-goers like me. Perhaps I am the only normal member, and as soon as I walk out of the changing room children appear from everywhere?
If you were a paedo who particularly liked staying fit, then this gym would be absolutely perfect for you, as wandering in with small children would not raise a single eyebrow. Except mine.
I have recently been checking my fellow gym users for potential signs of pervertedness, but I am not entirely sure how to spot one? I do not think they all have shiny silvery suits, bouffant hair cuts and platform boots. This would make treadmill use impractical, and I’m sure that using the gym facilities would be on their agenda at some point. In fact, if Gary Glitter himself walked in I’m not sure I would recognise him, unless he brought his two girlfriends with him.
So the search is on for a new gym, preferably one where the only people who get to see me changing are other naked men.
No tags
Oli · August 3, 2006 at 9:09 am
Unlucky.
Worst ive seen was the last time I was searching for a new gym, it had unisex changing and showering rooms (Open plan)
Now any regular gym go-er will know that gyms have posers the fitties and the fatties (As well as a couple of normal people thrown in for good measure)
As any red blooded male would be I was quite interested in the possibility of meeting a gym fitty and to put it bluntly getting my end away, and a unisex changing room would remove the physical barriers and just leave me with talking her round to the idea (Easy enough)
Unfortunately this gym seemed to lack fitties and infact normal people, indeed even a lot of the posers had left.
Fat chicks and perverts, thats all that was left. Normal men like to see flesh its true, but we dont go hugely out of our way for it. These guys looked like they never left the changing rooms, they were sat there with there bags, peering around coats to get a look at the aforesaid fat birds, the fatbirds were sat there drooling looking for a bit of cock.
The machinery in the gym was in good nick though, never been used.
All said and done, after that experience I now workout at home.
Shamash · August 3, 2006 at 9:17 am
At my gym, its under 10 and unfortunately we have a gym goer who thinks its perfectly exceptable to stand naked in front of the mirror and rub aloe vera on his… when I see him I go outside and count for 50.
Banana · August 3, 2006 at 9:42 am
Beware of those little Loitas.
Admin comment by Mr Angry · August 3, 2006 at 10:04 am
Oli – “Fat chicks and perverts”, is that on their advertising literature?
Shamash – Under 10!? The sick bastards!
Banana – will do
Michael Jackson · August 3, 2006 at 10:27 am
There is nothing wrong with this. It’s natural. As is cuddling in bed. All adults should be able to sleep in a bed with children. That’s what love is.
It is people like you who make it wrong, Angry.
Jesus juice anyone?
Ranting Dullard · August 3, 2006 at 10:48 am
Changing rooms are the main reason why people dont keep up their memberships. Some truly awful sights occur in these places.
Old men, posers, gay posers looking to sneek a peek at your willy.
My gym has the stench that will never go away and black slime climbing up the walls. I am looking for a new gym and the first thing I inspect is the chaning room.
BoyOnTop · August 3, 2006 at 11:17 am
Oi, lets calm things down a bit please.
As a father who has to take his young daughter into loos and changing rooms I keep an eagle eye out for the perverts of this world. You would be sadly amazed at who tries to get a look at an “under 7″ girl.
Though not a violent man the one thing that would bring the rage on would be someone doing things inappropriate with her. In her own time and way (a long long way) maybe, but until then its Dad with a cudgel.
Admin comment by Mr Angry · August 3, 2006 at 11:47 am
MJ – Sharmon muthafucka
RD – The changing rooms are fine generally, I am just worried about it attracting wrong’uns now.
BoT – So long as you don’t look dodgy you’ll be fine.
Grigio Gringo · August 3, 2006 at 12:56 pm
Angry, rumour has it that you tried to get all children above the age of 7 banned as they had better physiques than you?
Banana · August 3, 2006 at 1:03 pm
I hope there aren’t social workers reading this entry.
marycub · August 3, 2006 at 1:12 pm
Not quite sure why someone would take their children with them to the gym, it’s bad enough when they drag them out shopping. Leicester shops are full of screamy moany little people who are bored beyond belief!
Ranting Dullard · August 3, 2006 at 1:21 pm
Why take your kids to the gym????
Send them to their mates houses for a bit, or with family. Dont bring them to my special place, christ on his bike, I spend all day with kids, dont you think we need ‘kid free zones’.
Whilst I am ranting, what about ‘women free zones’. Just 5 minutes without some woman yacking on endlessly about TV or their big arse etc.
TJ · August 3, 2006 at 1:56 pm
What concerns me is that there is no sign in the ladies saying no boys over 7yrs. So much for equality!!
Perhaps something occurred to prompt the sign! Anything to confess?
Oli · August 3, 2006 at 3:13 pm
Grigio Gringo – He did but they beat him up.
Dr Clip · August 3, 2006 at 3:26 pm
TJ – you want young boys in your changing room?
TJ · August 3, 2006 at 3:32 pm
I’m not ageist!
Admin comment by Mr Angry · August 3, 2006 at 3:47 pm
Grigio – only the boys
marycub & RD – I’ve no idea why you’d take a child to a squash club where you can’t use the gym till you’re 18….
TJ – you are a pervert
Oli – I hid in the sauna
Léonie · August 3, 2006 at 4:37 pm
Ranting Dullard – I think not taking the kids to your special place is the point.
Duch · August 3, 2006 at 9:32 pm
gyms are evil places where you appear to be a fat chick, even if you ain’t one – particularly.
Running in the park rocks – especially on nights when there’s footie training – yum!
Admin comment by Mr Angry · August 3, 2006 at 10:45 pm
Duch – Hello, you don’t run anywhere near Barnes bridge do you?…
Yorkshire Soul · August 5, 2006 at 12:27 am
Let’s get this right, your idea of a good afternoon is having naked men looking at you ?
Have I misunderstood ?
Celeste · August 6, 2006 at 11:17 pm
Gym changing rooms are very ummm special places. i apologise now for what I am about to reveal – it will destroy all male fantasies about female changing rooms but there are always oldish women with very saggy boobs and copious amounts of pubis hair that saunter around the communal changing room area. They scare me.
I prefer a cubicle.