Sometimes when alcohol has taken control of your brain, it’s possible that you might say something a little bit silly. Quite accidentally of course. I’m not talking about showing your ignorance or lack of intelligence. I can do that perfectly well when I’m sober. I’m talking about a slip of your drunken tongue which makes a perfectly legitimate sounding sentence seem anything but.
A good example was on the last night of the Stag do in Budapest.
“This club is ace Jacko, good work mate”, I say complimenting the best man on his choice of drinking establishment.
“Yeah, a truly target rich environment, I just hope they speak more English than the taxi driver.”
“Indeed, but the night won’t be complete until I’ve had some birds cock in my mouth…”
“Err, what?!” he exclaimed, his drink a mere inch from his mouth.
“I mean, my cock, in her mouth, you know what I meant”, I corrected whilst backtracking at a decent rate of knots.
“But that’s not what you said, here LADS!”
“Fuck off, it was a slip of the tongue”
“LADS! Angry wants to suck some birds cock!”
“No I don’t, fuck off!”
This continued for pretty much the rest of the evening, with questions like, “Do you think she’d have a nice cock Angry?”, or “What if you pull a bird who’s got a bigger cock than you Angry?”
It’s very disconcerting when one of your group is dressed in a red PVC nurses outfit and you’re still on the receiving end of more jokes than he is.
I have a feeling this story may never ever die. At least not until one of the lads does, which will be about Thursday lunchtime at this rate.
The fuckers.
*NB – no cocks were sucked in the making of this post. Unfortunately. By which I mean mine, not unfortunately some birds cock wasn’t sucked. Fuck, here I go again…
No tags
Oli · July 12, 2006 at 8:42 am
A psychologist would have a field day…
I usually make mistakes like that while talking to the staggeringly beautful women, im alright with the normal ones but the stunners always seem to tie my tongue in knots. Probably because my imagination goes into overdrive about what i could be doing with said gorgeous girl….
nf girl · July 12, 2006 at 8:50 am
Ooh Angry, all this talk of cock is getting me excited!
Very, very funny.
TJ · July 12, 2006 at 9:48 am
Never had you pegged as a cocksucker!
Perhaps your freudient slip was subliminal based on an underlying truth!?!
BoyOnTop · July 12, 2006 at 10:08 am
Nope, I expect that’s a story that will survive the test of time…
Be thankful you weren’t in Bangkok rather than Budapest…
Admin comment by Mr Angry · July 12, 2006 at 10:22 am
Oli – God knows what Ranting Dullard will make of this…
NF – It’s not funny at all. I am livid!
TJ – Absolutely positively unequivocably not.
BoT – This my fear….
US · July 12, 2006 at 10:34 am
Ha ha – just laughed my own cock off reading that.
marycub · July 12, 2006 at 10:47 am
*snigger*
Dr J · July 12, 2006 at 10:52 am
Just goes to show, you can’t go wrong with a knob gag. And this time I remembered not to read it over coffee time. Ha!
Oh , and when do we get the nf style blow by blow account then eh?
Cris · July 12, 2006 at 11:06 am
Hello and goodbye. Because this is the last entry I’ll ever read on your blog. I have enough verbal pollution/vulgarity around me already so I’m not keen on searching it voluntarily. So much for your human quality, or what I hoped it was.
nf girl · July 12, 2006 at 11:22 am
I wonder if this is the first entry Cris has read as well as the last.
Considering the post a few days ago was called “He is a cunt” I am surprised by the sudden reaction to so-called vulgarity.
Hmm…
Admin comment by Mr Angry · July 12, 2006 at 11:32 am
US – but was it a girls cock?…
marycub – naughty corner
Dr J – Knob gags are hilarious, unless they’re at your expense…
Cris – Hello and goodbye. If I keep losing readers at this rate it’ll be just me by next Tuesday.
NF – God help us if he/she clicked on your name…
z · July 12, 2006 at 11:38 am
Your mistake was to be marginally drunker than Jacko. If he’d been any further gone you could have claimed that his addled brain had mistaken what you said.
But you shouldn’t knock it if you haven’t tried it you know.
Cris has left me duly chastened for laughing, when I evidently should have been shocked and appalled.
nf girl · July 12, 2006 at 11:53 am
I would just like to add that there is absolutely nothing wrong with cock sucking.
That is all.
Dr J · July 12, 2006 at 11:58 am
Surely it’s ok unless they are at the expense of your knob
Dr_Clip · July 12, 2006 at 12:25 pm
I have read this and choked on my over priced chicken wrap. Not choking on cock like Mr Angry likes to do so much, you filthy cocksucking man whore.
I once told this absolute CUNT that my shirt had popper buttons on, and that I would appreciate if he didnt keep ripping it open and baring my muscular chest, like on a previous occasion when we were out (i do own more than one shirt). But he proceeded to tell the other 12 lads we were out with who continually ripped my shirt open all night.
What a CUNT! I would love to pay him back.
Anyway Angry, if you would like to further you fetish, why dont you go to http://www.heshe.com*
Next time your are out, what will you say to your mates?
Maybe “I cant wait for my Dad to fuck me in the ass” or…..
“There is nothing like a tight little Jack Russell to stick your cock in”
*to protect the innocent, I am not sure if that is actually a website or not – and i’m defo not trying from the office.
Admin comment by Mr Angry · July 12, 2006 at 12:40 pm
Dr Clip – Let it go man! It was ages ago! You would’ve done the same had the roles been reversed. And your chest was of the pigeon variety from memory…
Dr_Clip · July 12, 2006 at 12:53 pm
gay cocksucker
Léonie · July 12, 2006 at 12:54 pm
Oh, Cris has made me feel like a bad person. I only ever stop by for the vulgarity and whimsical-but-necessary use of the word ‘cock’.
I bet he/she (oh, how appropriate) sneakily snuck back to check for reactions to his/her comment.
Oli · July 12, 2006 at 2:26 pm
In all fairness angry natural selection was made for people who make slipups like you made that night, im sure your mates will bring up the subject whenever you take a lovely young lady out, probably by shouting something along the lines of “DONT PUT HER COCK IN YOUR MOUTH ON A FIRST DATE ANGRY” just as your leaving would probably be deemed appropriate.
And im sorry NF girl, im fairly open minded, but putting a girls cock in a blokes mouth definately hits my tolerance barrier im afraid. although if you ever do feel like sucking a bit of northern I will happily oblige, for a small fee
And to be honest if Cris is not searching for verbal vulgarity im pretty sure coming on a website that would contain some obvious rants was a bit of a mistake on his part, though he may have been posting hoping to get a bit of sucky sucky =p
anyway back to work >.
Admin comment by Mr Angry · July 12, 2006 at 4:59 pm
Leonie – Hello, and yes, he she will be back…
Oli – Thanks, that’ll just give them more ideas…
ellie · July 12, 2006 at 5:23 pm
Didn’t NF once reference her cock on her site? Did NF go to Budapest?
Admin comment by Mr Angry · July 12, 2006 at 5:48 pm
ellie – she may have done, I would know nothing about such a thing…
Four Dinners · July 13, 2006 at 1:57 am
spit or swallow? soz.
nf girl · July 13, 2006 at 9:51 am
Ellie – Shhh..I was hoping noone would remember.