Sometimes when alcohol has taken control of your brain, it’s possible that you might say something a little bit silly. Quite accidentally of course. I’m not talking about showing your ignorance or lack of intelligence. I can do that perfectly well when I’m sober. I’m talking about a slip of your drunken tongue which makes a perfectly legitimate sounding sentence seem anything but.

A good example was on the last night of the Stag do in Budapest.

“This club is ace Jacko, good work mate”, I say complimenting the best man on his choice of drinking establishment.

“Yeah, a truly target rich environment, I just hope they speak more English than the taxi driver.”

“Indeed, but the night won’t be complete until I’ve had some birds cock in my mouth…”

“Err, what?!” he exclaimed, his drink a mere inch from his mouth.

“I mean, my cock, in her mouth, you know what I meant”, I corrected whilst backtracking at a decent rate of knots.

“But that’s not what you said, here LADS!”

“Fuck off, it was a slip of the tongue”

“LADS! Angry wants to suck some birds cock!”

“No I don’t, fuck off!”

This continued for pretty much the rest of the evening, with questions like, “Do you think she’d have a nice cock Angry?”, or “What if you pull a bird who’s got a bigger cock than you Angry?”

It’s very disconcerting when one of your group is dressed in a red PVC nurses outfit and you’re still on the receiving end of more jokes than he is.

I have a feeling this story may never ever die. At least not until one of the lads does, which will be about Thursday lunchtime at this rate.

The fuckers.

*NB – no cocks were sucked in the making of this post. Unfortunately. By which I mean mine, not unfortunately some birds cock wasn’t sucked. Fuck, here I go again…

No tags