“Do you speak English?” I ask the excessively fat Hungarian Taxi driver.
“No.”
“Parlez-vous Francais?”
“No”
“Sprechen Sie Deutsches?”
“No.”
“Parlate Italiano?”
“No.”
“Err, OK then. Can you take us to the Bed Bar on the Island?”
“Lapdance?”
“No, The Bed Bar. On the island”
“Good lapdance”
“No lapdance. Just Bed Bar. On the island. In the river. The. Bed. Bar”
“Lapdance?”
I’m not sure if he was offering me a lapdance, or trying to get me to go to some seedy backstreet lady-dancing emporium, but there was clearly something about us as a group that led him to believe that’s what we needed.
Perhaps it was the stag dressed in a red PVC nurses outfit.
Anyway, we ended up walking the two hundred yards to the Bed Bar where we then consumed enough cheap European spirits to convince us that maybe a lap dance from a fat Hungarian taxi driver might not be such a bad idea after all.
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14 comments
<< Endangered
Dr J · July 10, 2006 at 9:18 am
Welcome back.
Just one question, Buda or Pest?
greavsie · July 10, 2006 at 9:34 am
Only if the taxi driver was wearing FMB’s surely?
nf girl · July 10, 2006 at 10:13 am
Ah, Angry, a man of determination.
No lapdance, just take me straight to bed.
Oli · July 10, 2006 at 10:14 am
Do you actually know all those languages?
Fortunately oop norf all the taxi drivers speak english =D
US · July 10, 2006 at 10:27 am
You clearly weren’t speaking loudly enough to him. If in doubt shout.
Admin comment by Mr Angry · July 10, 2006 at 10:38 am
Dr J – There were a couple of Buda’s and several Pests in our group, is that what you meant?
Greavsie – it was the open-crotched laderhosen that did it for me.
NF – straight to the point, as always…
Oli – a couple of them – between us we knew enough to ask directions.
US – Shouting with a rifle in hand works then?
mighty wright · July 10, 2006 at 11:20 am
i suspect that there were more than “several ” pests in your group angry…….
ellie · July 10, 2006 at 12:46 pm
I wonder: Will the fat Hungarian taxi driver be a new visitor to Pimpmyblogger? Is he the latest to fall under the charm of Mr. A?
Admin comment by Mr Angry · July 10, 2006 at 12:49 pm
Mighty wright – more than one, and less than ‘all’….
ellie – not unless I start writing in Hungarian…
Pimp · July 10, 2006 at 2:21 pm
Lófasz a valagadba.
Admin comment by Mr Angry · July 10, 2006 at 2:26 pm
Pimp – it’s about two twenty-five.
Pimp · July 10, 2006 at 8:49 pm
I’ve added a few more vital Hungarian survival phrases over here just in case you get stuck with any more Hungarian taxi drivers.
Four Dinners · July 10, 2006 at 9:02 pm
Was it his sister? Eastern Europeans always have sisters. In Lithuania…..no maybe not…this could be used in evidence
Ranting Dullard · July 10, 2006 at 9:41 pm
The best example of poor communication skills I came across was in Spain. 2 Bright red English people, in their ‘twilight’ years bellowing slowly at a young Spanish girl ‘2 T’s please love’ making a T shape with their hands.