Though I obviously appreciate a liberal smattering of swearing in everyday conversation, I don’t use the ‘C’ word very often. I save it for those people that genuinely deserve it, the true scum and villainy that lurks amongst us. And Sayed Ahmed is one such person.

I admit that I didn’t watch much of this years Apprentice with Sir Alan Sugar (his fee went to Great Ormand Street Hospital you know), but I saw and heard enough of it to realise what an odious little shitehawk Sayed was.

Considering he was effectively being assessed to work for one of the most famous people in UK business, I was astounded by his obnoxious patronising manner, his non-existant interpesonal ’skills’, and his complete and utter lack of respect for anyone other than himself. If this had been a Kit-Kat ad, I’d have said “He’ll go a long way”. Well it isn’t, and he won’t. Thank fuck.

But at least he won’t be going to prison.

This is because despite being caught driving whilst three times over the limit, whilst already banned from driving, he has been given a suspended sentence, and a £400 fine.

£400!

My car insurance was more than that this year. Yet this is his punishment for driving, pissed as a fart, whilst banned, and therefore uninsured, in probably the busiest metropolitan area in this country. All this from a “proud Muslim”. His excuse was that he’s been struggling to deal with the fame associated with being on a reality television programme.

Reality check Sayed, you’re infamous, not famous. Don’t for one second think you are up there with real celebrities like Brad Pitt, Robbie Williams and Jade Goody. You are a sniveling cuntbag, much like a wart on the anus of mankind, and I am truly disappointed that you’ve not been incarcerated.

In fact, can someone explain to me why he’s not in prison after this crime? If he’s so desperate for fame, then let’s make a TV show out of it. We’ll call it “Sayeds Cell”. I’m sure some TV station will pick it up as we watch Sayed integrated with criminals such as Barry the Basildon Butcher, Two-Knife Ted, and his new cell-mate, Bubba the gay rapist (he has a fetish for arrogant Muslims). I’m sure they’d get on swimmingly.

Let’s see you sell them some fucking useless non-drip petrol cans you cunt.

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