I meet a friend for a drink.

I do have a number of friends, so this shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone. Some of them are quite normal. I hadn’t seen this friend for a number of months, so it was good to meet for a drink and catch-up on what was happening in each others lives. Her, in a career as a high flying business woman, me, as a moderately unpopular Internet author (this site is very different to a ‘blog’ in so many many ways).

We order our drinks and retire to a seat in the beer garden.

“So, I hear you got that job as a XXXXXXXX XXXXXXXX at XXXXXXX then?”, I ask.

Of course, there was no swearing as such, it’s just that naming her role and the company she works for would make her more easily identifiable. And identifying her would get you one step closer to identifying me. This cannot be allowed to happen as I think at least two of you could be stalkers.

“Yeah, it’s going really well actually, challenging, but I’m enjoying it.”, she replied.

“Ring Ring”.

OK, her mobile didn’t actually go, “Ring Ring”, but I don’t know how to write down the series of beeps it actually emitted. Anyway, her phone rang and she answered it.

“Oh Hi!“, she said pretending not to know who it was, raising my ire a couple of notches. “Yeah, I’m just out with a friend, but fire away”.

I suspect this must be an important call so I look around at the beer garden, as one does on a bright summers day. BBQ? Check. Parasols? Check. Neatly trimmed flower beds? Check. However, I am soon bored of this and so decide to look at the much more interesting sky instead. Clouds? Check. Airplanes? Check. Vast expanse of bluey-nothingness? Check.

“Oh he never did! I always said that he would though, didn’t I always say that he would?”

Sometimes I am like a ADD-suffering child and quite quickly the sky too, has also lost it’s interest. I have however noticed that my nails need cutting. A brief consideration of nail-biting as a new habit passes without incident when a wasp flies by right next to my pint. This is the most exciting thing that has happened in the last five minutes.

“I know I know, it’s not the first time though is it.”, she says into her Nokia whilst examining her nails.

I wonder if checking my nails has subconsciously instructed her to do the same? This is an interesting concept. I have always believed I have some special as-yet-untapped powers. Maybe if I danced like a monkey it would taken as a subliminal instruction, and she too, would find herself doing a Gorilla boogie whilst on the phone? I realise this is a stupid idea though, as she is a rubbish dancer.

I decide to pick my nose instead. She does not look like copying me, so I am glad I didn’t make myself look stupid doing the monkey dance.

“So I’m at this pub, it’s very nice, and the weathers lovely”, she continues. I look at her awaiting a comment about the stimulating and incredibly witty company she’s keeping, but it doesn’t come. She must have been interrupted by the obviously rude person on the other end.

She finally hangs up and proceeds to tell me all about what he did, how she’s always said he’d do it, how it wasn’t the first time, and how she now has to go in a minute so we’d better finish our drinks.

I do like catching up with friends.

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