My mobile rings.
“Good afternoon, Mr Angry“, I say with the authoritative air of a Very Important Person.
“Good afternoon Mr Angry, this is HSBC Bank, do you have a few minutes? I assure you this is not a sales call.” says the polite, yet vaguely Indian sounding lady on the other end.
I’m currently considering a re-mortgage offer from them and so I decide I might want to take this call.
“Err, OK, but it will have to be brief, I have a Very Important Meeting in five minutes.”
“That’s no problem Sir, it will be very brief, but first I need to confirm who you are,” she continues.
“Excuse me?”
I am surprised and confused by her suggestion that she doesn’t know who I am. I quickly calculate that the odds of her randomly dialing a Mr Angry are, quite frankly, astronomical. Then again, she may have been sat at a desk randomly dialing for years and years and has only just this moment struck it lucky.
“We just need to confirm your identity” she says matter-of-factly and unlike a woman who has just hit the jackpot.
“Hang on, you called me, you know perfectly well who I am, in fact, it’s me that doesn’t know who you are”
I can sense that she is about to try and bamboozle me with logic, but she doesn’t realise she is facing a worthy adversary. I have had three coffees and I am as sharp as a tack.
“It’s just a few security questions Sir, what is your date of birth?” she proceeds onward, seemingly oblivious to my previous comment.
“Whoa there, you could be absolutely anyone, I read the papers, I know all about those phishing scams, and lets be honest, you don’t sound like you’re calling from my local branch now do you. Are you in Nigeria?”
“I can put this in writing if you would prefer?”
“Err, yes please, I would.” I reply wondering how this will help them get access to my overdraft.
“Thank you for your time.” she says concluding our brief cat-and-mouse conversation.
I hang up convinced I have just thwarted an attempt by some ruthless criminal gang to steal my identity. I’m sure they rue getting in touch with a consumer as savvy as myself. The more I think about it, the more I realise this is an exact telephone replica of the classic email phishing scam, i.e. get in touch with someone randomly, and hope they give you sufficient personal details that allow you take over their assorted overdrafts and maxed-out credit card bills.
However, it takes just three minutes for me to decide there might be a problem with my mortgage application so I ring my branch just to be sure.
All is well in the world of re-mortgaging, and they will look into the phone call for me, though apparently it is normal practice to ask for peoples personal details when calling them. Which is frankly baffling for such security conscious organisations.
No tags
z · July 3, 2006 at 8:24 am
Maybe we could all agree a series of personal codes with banks – “the sun is shining this morning” – “but here the skies are grey” – then she would tell you your date of birth and you tell her her mother’s maiden name.
It could make telesales fun!
Oli · July 3, 2006 at 8:49 am
Haha I like z’s idea!
I also got a call from hsbc, not a sales call, a ‘courtesy call’ just checking to see if i would be any happier with say, a creditcard, loan, mortgage, life insurance, their new hsbc current account plus (Complete Rip Off)
Never stopped for a second to think it could be a phishing attempt, youve got me worried now.
Ahhh well if it is normal policy for them to ring you and ask for details then il sue the barstards or threaten to go publick, with all the current phishing scandals I wouldnt be surprised if they overcompensate you to keep you quiet!
Ranting Dullard · July 3, 2006 at 9:11 am
I always refuse to give any details anywhere, ever. I ask how is the information going to be stored in accordance to the updated data protection act?
Sometimes they get quite shirty but as you point out, theres lots of people wanting to steal your identity (sounds like body snatchers to me).
If I spot a short hairy man nurse round wigan I know it will be an imposter.
Dr J · July 3, 2006 at 9:35 am
Isn’t it HSBC who are prsocuting one of their Indian call centre staff for just such a scam perpetrated within their own organization right now? Well played Angry.
This whole proof of ID thing is really starting to irk. So far this year I have been called on to prove my ID for the NHS twice (despite working for them my entire career) two sets of Estate Agents (buying and selling a house)and like you am asked roughly once every two months or so by some cold caller, with a similar response. But the real peach was a request from our solicitor whom we had just met about our patnership agreement. He came to a building which has a Brass Plate out front listing all our names and accomplishments, sat in an office with my name blazoned across the door, received instructions from us on letterheaded correspondance with the smae information on, and then, within a week wrote asking for proof of ID! All to combat “money laudering” apparently.
It’s as though criminal masterminds are incapable of obtaining fake photo ID and utility bills….
Sorry- started as a comment, turned into a rant. I’ll try brevity next time I promise
TJ · July 3, 2006 at 10:23 am
I phoned up to rant a Sky last week for their general all round incompetence. Before I could commence ranting I had to give my password. needless to say I couldn’t remember it. I asked for a clue and they said ‘its a name and why don’t I try thinking of a name that I would normally use as a password’. Utter genius!
Admin comment by Mr Angry · July 3, 2006 at 11:11 am
z – like an episode of ‘ello ‘ello?
Oli – I have written to them asking for clarification on how it is different to ‘phishing’ – I will let you know when I hear back…
RD – I should’ve quoted the DPA, damn it!
Dr J – No apologies needed, that’s why this site is here!
TJ – your own name perhaps?
nf girl · July 3, 2006 at 12:05 pm
Katy posted about this some time ago as well.
http://everythingiselectric.blogspot.com/2005_12_01_everythingiselectric_archive.html
Interesting, Angry. Interesting.
Admin comment by Mr Angry · July 3, 2006 at 12:22 pm
NF – Interesting?! They are clearly not learning! You will all be laughing on the other side of your faces when everyone except Katy and I have been Phished.
(and I hadn’t considered the ‘call 3 times to get the whole security number’ thing either)
BoyOnTop · July 3, 2006 at 12:39 pm
One of the perversities of the current data protection legislation is that banks are legally required to ask such information before they can talk to you. What all the consultations, legislative committees and parlemtenatary bodies forgot to think about is how can they identify themselves to you before they ask the private questions.
I like the secret code idea so long as I get to make up their identifying statement: “Hello, my grandmonther has wings and blows bubbles like a fish.” It would absolutely make my day to have that on the other end of the phone…
greavsie · July 3, 2006 at 2:09 pm
Trouble is, there are plenty more Phish in the sea.
karilyn · July 3, 2006 at 3:08 pm
but it is so easy to get all the info you need to set up a money laundring facility…… as the banks are like so passe, use a cover company that has to buy lots of things and just get some one to provide a few invoices.
any way a trip to the cayman islands mon is ideal for money laundering…. Hsbc may have a branch there. In the caymans no tax, no questions mon…… works better than daz to clean that money. Sure all the politians have an account there mon
Admin comment by Mr Angry · July 3, 2006 at 3:34 pm
BoT – so the law says they must act like Phishermen?
greavsie – as my Mum keeps telling me
kariyn – her accent could’ve been Cayman now you mention it
Katy Newton · July 3, 2006 at 8:13 pm
Angry, you cheeky sod, I have so done this post already…
Katy Newton · July 3, 2006 at 8:15 pm
Just in case anyone actually thinks that I am accusing Angry of plagiarism, that was actually supposed to be a joke…
US · July 3, 2006 at 8:44 pm
You can always ask for a phone number that they can be contacted on that is displayed on one of their websites and then ring them back.
Pimp · July 3, 2006 at 8:45 pm
Do I sense a lovers tiff?
Admin comment by Mr Angry · July 3, 2006 at 9:03 pm
Katy – you mean the bank called us both? The fuckers! (NF pointed this out already, and yes, I’m obviously delighted that you did it so much funnier than me, hmmph)
US – and pay for the call? Sod off!
Pimp – time for counselling?
Katy Newton · July 3, 2006 at 9:42 pm
Oh goodness, I didn’t see the notoriously fickle one’s post. She’ll be buying a hat this weekend, you watch.
Mine was only longer than yours because Paul was a wanker and didn’t just offer to write me a letter and get off the phone like a true gentleman…
Oli · July 4, 2006 at 8:43 am
“greavsie Says:
July 3rd, 2006 at 2:09 pm
Trouble is, there are plenty more Phish in the sea. ”
- Genius.
& I like Angry’s sly get out of trouble by self depritiation and compliments, truely the best way to a womans heart in all fairness.
I am livid » Mo’ money · July 18, 2006 at 9:56 am
[...] I’ve had a few issues with my bank recently, mainly with them calling me and asking me who I am. But this has been resolved and we are now both confident of my identity. [...]