My mobile rings.

“Good afternoon, Mr Angry“, I say with the authoritative air of a Very Important Person.

“Good afternoon Mr Angry, this is HSBC Bank, do you have a few minutes? I assure you this is not a sales call.” says the polite, yet vaguely Indian sounding lady on the other end.

I’m currently considering a re-mortgage offer from them and so I decide I might want to take this call.

“Err, OK, but it will have to be brief, I have a Very Important Meeting in five minutes.”

“That’s no problem Sir, it will be very brief, but first I need to confirm who you are,” she continues.

“Excuse me?”

I am surprised and confused by her suggestion that she doesn’t know who I am. I quickly calculate that the odds of her randomly dialing a Mr Angry are, quite frankly, astronomical. Then again, she may have been sat at a desk randomly dialing for years and years and has only just this moment struck it lucky.

“We just need to confirm your identity” she says matter-of-factly and unlike a woman who has just hit the jackpot.

“Hang on, you called me, you know perfectly well who I am, in fact, it’s me that doesn’t know who you are”

(more…)

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