As you read this I am on a golf course somewhere near Brighton.

This is amazing, as I am able to tell this computer when to make my post appear, so even though I’m away from Thursday afternoon until Sunday, you still get to read some inane witterings from me! You lucky lucky people!

You should not read anything into the fact that I am going to Brighton as part of a group of fourteen men. We are all heterosexual and like girls and football and stuff. Some of them are even married, though I do recognise that this is a great cover if you are actually gay, and one of the married ones really does look like Will Young (it got him VIP treatment in a club once). I read somewhere that 10% of the population is gay. That would mean 1.4 of our Brighton group is gay. I am almost sure the Will Young lookey-likey is the 1.0, but I’m not sure which of the others is 40% gay.

I will pay close attention this weekend.

I am in Brighton as part of a Superstars Challenge Weekend, which will involve competing in ten sporting events, during which, we will determine which of us is the ultimate athlete. Again, you should read nothing into the fact that the events include Pool, Bowling, and drinking a pint as fast as you can. We are all health conscious and like exercise and going to the gym and stuff. Except the fat ones, who like TV and kebabs.

If you happen to see 14 similarly clad “Superstars” in Brighton this weekend, please don’t say hello, I don’t like stalkers, and you may break my concentration. This is a very serious competition, and I’m hoping to do well. If I don’t mention the competition ever again I suggest you never ask how it went.

Please talk amongst yourselves whilst I’m gone.

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