Drinking in rounds has it’s advantages. You get to visit a busy bar fewer times than if you were to get your own drinks, and in many cases your next drink miraculously appears just as you finish your current one. Which is nice.

There are some downsides however. Firstly, when you happen to be falling behind in the drinking stakes and your round partners are waiting for their next drink yet you’ve still got most of your pint to drink. There are only so many pints you can down-in-one. This happens more often if your rounds partners are drinking girlie drinks like Gin & Tonic instead of pints. Or if they are girls. Or if they are girls drinking Gin & Tonic. Which is what happened to me on Saturday night aboard the boat.

“Hurry up Angry, we need another drink“, complained female-drinking-round-partner-1.

“I’ve only had this pint for five minutes, you’re joking right?”, I respond incredulously.

“No, look, we’ve both finished” she said pointing at female-drinking-round-partner-2 who then waived her empty glass at me.

My female friends drink like fish. It has nothing to do with me drinking slowly. If I need to, I can down a pint in under ten minutes, even if its really cold. So clearly it was their fault for drinking their tiny girlie drinks far too quickly.

We reached a compromise where female-drinking-round-partner-1 would go the bar with a crisp £20 note supplied by me. This suits all concerned in that they get their drinks right now, but also have to go to the bar as punishment for speed-drinking their girlie drinks, and I pay for my round as expected. I have the added bonus of missing a trip to the bar.

About ten minutes later female-drinking-round-partner-1 returns with a tray of drinks. It contains four double Gin & Tonics, and a pint of lager. I am handed my pint whilst the girls take two glasses each. This is surprising, and she clearly reads this in my expression. (more…)

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