Exercise is good for you. Everyone knows this (except fat people on council estates). In fact, I actively encourage it. Mainly for its rage-reducing properties. It’s difficult to lash out at strangers when you’re fucking knackered.
Mr. Angry endorses exercise. Fact.
Also, if you’re going to go to a gym, or about to undertake some serious exercise, then I’ve got no qualms at all about you wearing the appropriate attire. A decent pair of trainers, maybe even some proper dri-fit sports clothing wouldn’t go amiss. It’s important to feel comfortable if you’re going to push yourself to your physical limits.
However, this does not mean that I condone the use of leg warmers and brightly coloured leotards (unless you’re in a pop video and competing for a place in my wank-bank).
What i simply cannot abide though, is people getting dressed up in all the latest Nike gear in order to walk their fucking dog around the block. Walking is not a sport, and please don’t quote those utter twats that ‘run’ at the Olympics, that’s just really shit running, like when you’re escaping from the scene of a crime and you know that proper running will draw attention to yourself, so you decide to speed-waddle away from the imminent police arrival. In fact, if any police are reading this, you should use your stop-and-search powers on any speed-waddlers you happen across, because trust me, they’re trying to get away from something. Not that I’ve ever felt the need to speed-waddle anywhere. Ahem.
Walking is not, in any sense of the word, a proper exercise. Walking does not require specialist equipment, and wearing it just makes you look like a bit-of-a-cunt as you’re out dragging Fido for a shit somewhere outside your own neighbourhood.
I recently saw a woman in what I guessed to be a spandex training outfit complete with head band and wristbands (she was old so there was no wank-bank potential, in case you were wondering).
She looked fucking ridiculous.
Her dog was about the size of a rat and was galloping along at a slow human walking pace, whilst Mrs Spandex walked along in the style of one of those speed-waddlers, only really really slowly. She could’ve gone for hours at that pace and not broken a sweat.
This is rubbish.
If you’re going to wear a head-to-toe training outfit then I want to see you get a proper sweat on, even if I have to chase you with a gun to make it happen.
No tags
Katy Newton · June 1, 2006 at 7:51 am
I agree with you that people do not make enough effort on the sartorial front when walking their dogs, which is why I always walk my dog in a full-length ballgown and tiara.
Other dogwalkers just can’t take their eyes off her.
Ranting Dullard · June 1, 2006 at 7:52 am
Indeed!
I love to exercise. I work out 6 days a week (3 cardio 3 weights). I used to be a fat git. Now I am a lean git.
Clothes for the gym include -Chairman mao t-shirt,
‘fuck you’ t-shirt
‘hey ladies’ t-shirt
No labels for me!
Walking is not exericse as you point out quite correctly. If you walk for 5 hours over hills that is exercise, but walking around a council estate is not. Neither is gardening. Thats bollocks.
Right, I have gone on a bit too much here. Off to the gym for a sweaty old time.
BoyOnTop · June 1, 2006 at 8:31 am
Yeah but, from your description I am sure she was getting a proper sweat on doing her waddle to the shops for more lucazade.
greavsie · June 1, 2006 at 8:35 am
*hides shell suit*
z · June 1, 2006 at 9:48 am
The police need to have a clear distinction between speed-waddling and hurry-waddling, because they might accidentally arrest JonnyB in need of a ‘comfort stop’.
I have a friend who drives to the gym, only 2 kilometres away. I don’t get it.
Dr Clip · June 1, 2006 at 11:28 am
If you do it for 30 mins a day it can be good for you….
….. walking can help too.
Boom Boom.
ps. I drive to my gym. I believe this is common as most have car parks.
Dr J · June 1, 2006 at 1:47 pm
Dr J — what exercise do you get?
Mrs Lard– *in search of weight loss miracle* Well I walk the dog.
Yep. ‘fraid that’s just walking. Not proper exercise. Depressingly familiar scenario. And Mrs L always swathed in trackie and trainers. Usually faux Nikes or Reeboks. Amazing what you can get at boot sales.
Admin comment by Mr Angry · June 1, 2006 at 2:10 pm
Katy – Does it stop others sniffing her bum?
RD – Any “fuck you (unless you’re a lady)” t-shirts?
BoT – I could’ve moonwalked quicker
greavsie – hides it in 1988?
z – I think the clutching of groin area would give him away, or maybe increase his arrest potential?
Dr C – 30 mins? flash bastard
Dr J – Chase her with a gun then. You can prescribe that right?
nf girl · June 1, 2006 at 4:23 pm
Er, I don’t exercise. When I did, I used to drive to the gym. A kilometre away.
Now, I just fuck. I recommend it.
Admin comment by Mr Angry · June 1, 2006 at 5:51 pm
NF – if we all relied on that, obesity would be a huge(er) problem. Unless you’re offering the readers some sort of Personal Training service?
Matt · June 1, 2006 at 5:58 pm
I’ve just left a job where I was working 12hr shifts sat at a desk, and walking feels like bloody exercise to me
karilyn · June 1, 2006 at 7:08 pm
better idea roller blades and let the dog pull you down the road!
but nike are so chav ish, and in general hate sports clothes, so horrible….. so common
Oli · June 2, 2006 at 7:43 am
Dr Clip, the car park is there for people joining the gym, wile the owners sit in the absolutele certain knowledge that 90% of the people that drove to the gym will never be seen inside its walls again.
and i like the sound of the nf girl service
nf girl · June 2, 2006 at 10:22 am
Oli – take a number dear.
Hehehe. Just kidding.
Oli · June 2, 2006 at 12:05 pm
If its into the triple digits I may have to queue jump =p
Al · June 2, 2006 at 10:58 pm
A race walker overtook you when you were out jogging?
Not entirely unexpected: they can go astonishingly fast
Sooz · June 3, 2006 at 9:36 pm
But.. but… but… walking is one of THE best exercises for you. Walking in water is even better but you’d look more twattish I reckon. And the dog wouldn’t like it.
The Editor · June 4, 2006 at 7:51 pm
Personally I find wading in treacle a good all round exercise and consequently getting nowhere fast.