Fresh from his rant about early release prisoners, the sexer of horses sent me a link to a story that he felt might raise my ire. He was right.

A 12 year old girl in Scotland is about to become one the youngest mothers in the UK after a drunken one-night stand when she was 11. Yes. That’s not a typo. She was 11, and drunk.

However, the Suns take on this is not, “how dreadful that a child can get herself in this predicament”, rather, “isn’t it exciting to be having a baby!”

Now, I wouldn’t normally look at that rag, but seeing as it’s likely to be read by a number of working class families I thought it would be interesting to see how they treated this sensitive subject.

Lighting her third roll-up cigarette and watched by her proud 34-year-old mum, she confessed: “I didn’t think I’d get pregnant because it was my first time.

“But I’m really excited and looking forward to being a mum.”

Riiiiight. So her Mum is proud of her daughters achievements is she? I would imagine the dream of your child becoming a Doctor or a Lawyer simply wasn’t good enough for her. No, she wanted a pregnant 11 year old alcoholic in the family. A proper role model for her future generations. Nice.

I can understand school kids experimenting. I did when I was eleven. It’s just the experiments I undertook involved climbing trees and burning ants with a magnifying glass. Not shagging. I had to wait another ten five years for that.

She still puffs up to 20 ciggies a day, despite being eight months pregnant.

Yesterday she told how she took up drinking at just ten — sometimes downing a potent cocktail of Buckfast and vodka on nights out. She said: “I can give up smoking at any time, but I don’t find it affects my pregnancy. I also don’t drink any more.”

My mistake, she is a Doctor. Somehow she’s managed to ensure that her 20 a day habit hasn’t affected the poor kid she’s carrying. It will be all that experience she has of being pregnant I guess?

Oh, but the best is still to come…

“I think I’ll be able to cope as I’ve had lots of practice looking after my brothers.

“I know how to feed a baby its bottle and I can change nappies.

“But I panic and cry if they’re sick and I don’t like giving them a bath because I’m a bit frightened.

Brilliant. You couldn’t make it up. Well, maybe you could, but that quote reads like it’s from a middle-aged first time Dad. Not the soon to be mother.

Accidents happen, I know that. But when they’re glamourised like this it makes me fucking furious. If you’re feeling a little ambivalent towards this story then check your pay-packet next month and try to count the cost of living in a country with one of the highest teenage pregnancy rates in the developed world.

And I guess, as of next month, the highest rate of pre-teen pregnancies in the entire world.

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