At the recent wedding I went to in Portugal one of the guests brought along her dog as her ‘plus 1′. This in itself is fucking ludicrous. But it gets worse.
The dog had it’s own bag. Think handbag, but with a couple of vents for ‘windows’. Think tiny fucking rat-like dog sticking it’s head out like a mere cat. It was possibly the most ridiculous sight I’ve ever seen at a wedding.
Worse still, the dog and it’s bag had it’s own place setting. Meaning that the bride and groom had paid for the dog to attend the wedding. I shit you not.
Dogs have legs. Please let them use them. Don’t pick them up and put them in a Prada lookalike mini-mobile kennel.
I thought it was only dumb rich fuckers like Paris Hilton that put dogs in bags, alas no. This dog bag owner was just a normal person. Well, I say normal. She was as normal as anyone who talks to their dog like a real person can be. At one point she asked the dog what it thought of the food. She’d have shit herself if it had replied ‘overcooked’ like that dog on That’s Life. So I guess that with hindsight she was actually a fucking loon.
Anyway, any of you dog owners ever thought of carrying Fido round in a bag of his very own?
No tags
Davo · April 21, 2006 at 9:00 am
Don’t knock it.
Carting a fuck off big German Shepherd or Staffordshire around in a rucksack might just be the perfect solution to your problems on the underground.
You didn’t mention, but at the wedding, you presumably did the decent thing and got belligerently drunk and drop kicked Fido and it’s fucking bag into the nearest river?
Four Dinners · April 21, 2006 at 10:10 am
Was there sausages on the menu? n did you drop kick the silly bitch into the nearest river after her dog?
Admin comment by Mr Angry · April 21, 2006 at 4:44 pm
Davo – Doberman in a rucksack. Hmmmm. This has potential.
I was nice to the dog. I fed it SuperBock all night.
FD – can’t remember, was too pissed. And she disappeared after a while, though I may have just gone blind.
karilyn · April 21, 2006 at 7:38 pm
i know this muppet who got a labador and sheep dog as her brides maides with 2 very fat girls she dressed in peach in dresses (size24 and 22 ) on the girls and on the dogs. she thought the ulgy brides maids would be able to make her look nice in comparison
Sooz · April 21, 2006 at 10:35 pm
Poor girl – maybe she didn’t have any friends? Or maybe it was the pooch taking the girl to the wedding?
I don’t fancy transporting a huge arthritic labrador in a hold-all and I dare say she’d not be that impressed either!
Once I transported my exhausted dog in a kid’s pushchair whilst I carried child on my shoulders but that’s so that it wouldn’t have a heart attack. (the dog not the kid!)
Neither of us were impressed with this arrangement though.
Ranting Dullard · April 22, 2006 at 5:51 pm
Dogs need to be put in bags sometimes. Like when you drown the christmas puppy. A good sturdy gardening rubbish bag with some bricks at the bottom works for me.
William Board · April 27, 2006 at 6:52 am
I’m reliably informed that if you get married in Korea you can actually request whether you want your a dog in a bag although it’s considered impolite to use your fingers.