There’s been plenty of coverage of this in the last few weeks. Apparently we had the driest winter on record since Georgie Best was waiting for his last liver. This has meant old people everywhere won’t be able to spend their summer days watering the Chrysanthemums. With nothing to do all day I just hope they don’t react like today’s youth when faced with the same predicament and turn into an old-person Chav. If you see a septuagenarian on a 50 cc moped with a Reebok tracksuit and a hoodie this summer, you’ll know it is the hosepipe bans fault.
I do however find this general lack of water amazing. It absolutely pissed down on Sunday afternoon. I mean really pissed down. For over an hour. I know this because I was driving in it, not because I relied on BBC Weather. Surely this downpour went some way toward topping up the levels? Apparently not.
First thing this morning we received an email from our office manager saying this:
Good Morning,
Please note that due to the burst water main out front we have limited water supply this morning. This extends to the toilets which aren’t flushing, so cross your legs people. Hopefully the problem will be resolved soon.
I had always thought of water shortages as being much like famine or Bird Flu. Terrible in their own way, but not likely to affect me. However, this turn of events means I am to be directly affected by the water crisis facing the UK. At least for today. This is not good.
Someone has just suggested that cup-of-tea rationing should be implemented. I do not agree with this as it could quite easily lead to anarchy. I have let them know in no uncertain terms my feelings on the subject. If they try and take my cuppa away then someone is going to getting seriously hurt.
I expect the first outbreak of caffeine-withdrawl related violence by 11am. My money is on Shaky Ted in Accounts. Watch this space.
** 2:15pm update ** Shaky Ted has gone home because the loo’s don’t flush. He shakes like a shitting dog so the distress caused by and out of order toilet does not suprise me. The water cooler is empty but I have been to the shop and bought a 2 litre bottle of water for myself. I may have 2 cups of tea at a time for the rest of the afternoon.
Because I can.
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William Board · April 6, 2006 at 7:36 am
I’m so pissed off with the whole thing I’m thinking of leaving this sodding country to go and live on an island.
Annette · April 6, 2006 at 7:47 am
With all of the global warming happening in the world and the vast amount of melting icebergs we should have enough water to flood a few countries let alone be able to flush the toilet!
Enjoy your tea!
Admin comment by Mr Angry · April 6, 2006 at 8:17 am
Bill – Is now an opportune time to point out that you already do?
Annette, hello. Perhaps we could drag one into the Thames estuary?
Katy Newton · April 6, 2006 at 9:09 am
Hey, leave my cup of tea alone.
Admin comment by Mr Angry · April 6, 2006 at 9:36 am
Hi Katy – that’s very much the paraphrased ‘PG’ version of what I said….
mighty wright · April 6, 2006 at 11:34 am
its a classic case of mismaagement – again. How can we have a hosepipe ban in March / April?!? ludicrous.
US · April 7, 2006 at 5:37 am
If they tried to restrict our tea intake at work there would be mutiny.
karilyn · April 8, 2006 at 9:12 pm
who in their right mind would want to water a lawn in the month of april…. like rainy season
Matt Lobster · April 9, 2006 at 6:30 pm
Anger constructed into practical solutions. I love it. I am now counting items in supermarket queues by the way.
James Blunt jumped off a cliff in his video for ‘You’re Beautiful’. Apparently it used something called a ‘Special Effect’. Thus he’s not dead.
Rob D · April 9, 2006 at 8:41 pm
Why are we running out of water ?
Where has it all gone ?
Tesco’s,thats where its gone,between the cheap
cola and the Red Bull.Fucking ‘Highland Spring’