[...] This month began, as it always does, with April Fools Day, and this was quickly followed by my realisation that the BBC Weather service is actually shite. It was not all trivial bollocks though, oh no, I also solved the pensions crisis, though my recommendations have yet to become law. I am sure it is only time. Tom Cruise turned cannibal, and then I noticed how I must have become a sheep. The month came to a close with me learning that a film that is based on a true story does not mean the depicted action actually happened. Oh no. [...]